Freshly Riffed

17 Aug

There are two people reading this: those who know what WordPress is, and those who only clicked on this link because of the boobs.

Boobs. As promised.

Those in the second group should know that WordPress is the great site that is allowing me to share all of these dick jokes with you. WordPress has a function called “Freshly Pressed” in which they share posts from random blogs that they think is good.

And now I’m going to make fun of them! Well, not the posts themselves, just the titles. Because it’s easier to make fun of things if I don’t know about them very well.

“But,” you might say. “Isn’t it kinda mean to mock people?”

Well, it turns out I just like being an asshole. Who knew?

Ahem.

Spaces Of Memory: It’s kind of like the “space between spaces” but a lot less stupid. And 30% less aliens.

Theatre Of The Absurd: Electoral Politics: Yep, if there’s anything that makes me think “theatre of the absurd”, it’s electoral politics.

“Honk honk! I am an integral part of the Democratic system! Honk honk!”

Out Of The Oven, Into The Streets: Casserole Rebellions: The Casserole Rebellions were only a minor subsection of the Goulash Armada.

Where Were You You In ’82?: Well, to quote one of my favourite movies, I was just a gleam in my father’s eye.

Glimpses Of Iran: Well, obviously it’s glimpses. It’s hard to see out of a Burka.

HAH HAH INACCURATE STEREOTYPES HAH.

New York City Knows What’s Breast: That’s to be expected in the titty that never sleeps.

Age Appropriate Justice League Casting:  In retrospect, casting Timmy (age 2) as Superman was not our best idea.

On one hand, he’s almost completely immune to Kryptonite. On the other hand, most babies react badly to laser guns in the face.

Boxfuls Of History: All of my boxes of history are filled with arson and shame.

O.C.D. … OMG!: I love how it has those three dots, like it took a second for her to realize what “O.C.D” means.

“O.C.D? Huh. What’s that? ”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Holy fuck! That’s kind of a big deal!”

Visiting Papua (Part 3: Cultural Sensitivity): It turns out that running up to people and saying “Hah! Our culture is better than yours! In your face!” is a bad idea. Who knew?

Shut Up And Draw. It’s Good For You!: Gah! Why is this blog yelling at me?

My Dream World: Because fuck you, reality.

Day 117 And Day 118: Vienna, Austria: “A Day In Austria” is, by a bizarre coincidence, also the name of the Hetalia themed porno we’re in the middle of making.

Austria. (No, seriously.)

Perceiving Phony Patterns: Apophenia: Without any other information, I am forced to assume that this is somehow also a porno.

Pitfall Brings Back Old Game Glories: Wow. Pitfall counts as a “glory” to you? Man, I guess that explains why my friends started falling down in worship when I brought out Candyland.

How Green Is My Pasta!: This is actually the opening to the world’s worst stand-up act.

“How green is my pasta, everybody!”

“…’

“Cause… uh. It’s green. And…”

“…”

“TASTY. Yeah, like… um. A vagina? No, wait. Mulligan, lemme try that again.”

Chaos Theory And Film: Unless this is about the Joker’s plan in The Dark Knight, I am so not fucking interested.

Pin Pin Pinterest: GOD DAMMIT TITLE PUNS ARE MY THING GET YOUR OWN.

U.S. Army’s Captain America, Space Marines, Or Clone Wars: Okay, what the fuck is it with political blogs having stupid titles? (This one is themed as ‘politics’.) You aren’t getting any extra views, fool!

Just because you throw Sci-Fi buzz words in to a title doesn’t mean anything! That’s like if I were to put boobs on a post just to get extra views!

Oh. Never mind.

3 Responses to “Freshly Riffed”

  1. Smaktakula August 17, 2012 at 1:16 am #

    This had boobs and making fun of things, so really, it had everything.

    • averystrangeplace August 17, 2012 at 1:48 am #

      Boobs are like table salt. A little bit here, a little bit there, it makes everything better.

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  1. ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECTACULAR! « A VERY STRANGE PLACE - February 7, 2013

    […] I love mean mockery! […]

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