Freshly Riffed 4: The Revenge

29 Sep

Ooh, haven’t done one of these for a while. Welcome to Freshly Riffed, in which I take the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts, and make fun of them. Why? Because I was really happy last night, so now I have to be an asshole to even the score.

Ahem.

What Makes A Post Freshly Pressable: Bacon In A Toaster: Does ham in a space heater count?

What’s In A Name?: Letters, mostly.

BUH DUM TSH.

Andy Murray Breaks Through: OH GOD ANDY MURRAY HAS BREACHED THE PERIMETER.

RUN.

If You Aren’t Registered To Vote, Quit Reading My Blog And Register: Crap, the internet has become sentient again. And it has political leanings. Damn it!

Oh, Please Do Tell Me About What You’re Not Selling: This title is dripping with so much sarcasm, I’m gonna need a mop.

Did You Know? Did You Know? Did You Know?: This one has apparently developed Torgo Syndrome.

UYUNI – Bolivia’s Train Cemetery: Ah, train cemeteries. Home of Thomas, the train zombie.

Underground Guerilla Signs: Signs, huh? If it turns out that the underground guerilla are aliens who are allergic to water, we are leaving.

HAH HAH SHYAMALAN JOKE HAH.

Stop Sausaging Around: Aw, but my sausage is my best feature!

You should probably forget I said that.

Update Reality: We probably should, right now reality is running on Windows Vista.

The Andromeda Galaxy keeps flickering, and the sky turned bright pink.

United Airlines Killed Our Golden Retriever, Bea: Must… not… make… 9/11 joke… about planes… hitting dogs… it’s… in poor taste!

Daily Post Challenge: Telepathy Not Required: But it is recommended.

Redefining “Alive”: I’m guessing the new definition has something to do with “not being dead”. Just guessing.

The Evolution Of A Friend: This only works if your friend also happens to be a Pokemon.

Are Happy Online Personas A Lie Or A Matter Of Protocol?: Yes, because if there is any word people would use to describe me, it’s “happy”.

You know, after “sexy”, “asshole”, and “why is everything on fire?!”.

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