STOP TALKING ABOUT LION INCEST

22 Nov

Today’s post is dedicated to my sister, who spent the last hour ranting stream of consciousness. Because she won’t let me write, I’ll write her. MWA HAH HAH.

“Do lions worry about incest?”

“I just grew up in the Savannah last night!”

“Sometimes, I think about skinning humans and making them in to coats.”

“Nipples are weird. In both what they look like and what they do.”

“If I had 6 nipples, I could feed all the babies.”

“I always loved Crackle the most.”

“I need to get a Wee Willy Winky outfit. And a candle-holder.”

“I wish all of my toes where opposable. I want to be able to play the piano with my toes like Bugs Bunny. I like Bugs Bunny.

“What’s up with nose hair? No, I mean, seriously. Do you lose it? Where does it go? And what about the Magic School-bus?”

“The word for ‘baby’ in Japan translates to ‘little red thing’. I think that’s fitting.”

“Somebody in the world is eating a peanut butter and salmon sandwich. This worries me.”

“I worry about massage cream. It has a weird after-taste. Mmm, tastes like human flesh.”

“Could you sacrifice zombies to volcano gods? Because I think that would solve everybody’s problems.”

“If I put my toes in peanut butter, it would squelch and get stuck. It would make me unhappy.”

“If you wished upon a star, would it go out? Maybe that’s what’s wrong with Doctor Who.”

“Why does Captain Hook have clothes? I worry about these things.”

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