Prompt And Circumstance

6 Dec

Hey, remember when I made fun of WordPress?

Let’s do that again!

For those not in the know, WordPress has “The Daily Post”, full of hints and tips for aspiring bloggers. This includes a “Daily Prompt” section, which is where my brilliant title pun comes from. (Isn’t it brilliant? Worship it. Wooooorship it!)

So, please prompt me, WordPress. Please do.

*maniacal laughter*

Ahem.

Write 500 words on any topic you like. Now remove 250 of them without changing the essence of your post: No. No, I will not do that.

Well, that was easy!

If you had to choose between being able to write a blog (but not read others’) and being able to read others’ blogs (but not write your own), which would you pick? Why?: Well, if I chose to write, than I couldn’t read “The Daily Post” but if I chose to read, than I couldn’t write this post but if I chose to write then-

OH GOD PARADOX.

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN.

Whoops. I think I killed the internet. Again.

A sanctuary is a place you can escape to, to catch your breath and remember who you are. Write about the place you go to when everything is a bit too much: Insert your Batcave/Shier/Hogwarts reference here.

Now that you’ve got some blogging experience under your belt, re-write your very first post: “Run! Run now! Trust me, this place isn’t going to be any good for at least 100 posts, maybe even 150. Go play outside, and check back in a couple of months. There’ll be a lot more dick jokes by then.”

Write a post about anything you’d like — in the style of your favorite blogger. (Be sure to link to them!): Wait, I’m actually supposed to read blogs?! Wow, this is going to completely change things!

Yes, I'm a surprised 4 year old. Try to keep up.

I thought I was just supposed to burn them!

Picture the one person in the world you really wish were reading your blog. Write her or him a letter: “Dear Joseph Stalin; how are you?”

Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding, belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?: Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and oh god who gave the monkey a gun?!

Here’s the title of your post: “An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse.” Set a timer for ten minutes, and write it. Go!: Ah, yes, I will pull out the timer that I keep clenched tightly between my buttocks for just such an occasion.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve given someone that you failed to take yourself?: “Duck.”

Seriously. You, reading this. Duck. NOW.

Admittedly, painting messages on walls to communicate with people in the future is not the best way to give advice.

Why, hello, obligatory Doctor Who reference!

Aaaand stick the landing!

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3 Responses to “Prompt And Circumstance”

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  1. Daily Prompt; In Loving Memory/ The Daily Post | terry1954 - December 7, 2012

    […] Prompt And Circumstance (averystrangeplace.com) […]

  2. Prompt And Circumstance 2, Electric Boogaloo « A VERY STRANGE PLACE - December 19, 2012

    […] a function that suggests what people should write about. And I have a delightful habit of making fun of them! Because I feast on the tears of heart-broken writers, that’s […]

  3. 7 Great Moments In The History Of Profanity « A VERY STRANGE PLACE - February 16, 2013

    […] all the times I take (affectionate!) pot shots at WordPress, they’ve only really responded once. Specifically, they popped down in to […]

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