T’was The Night Before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, ’cause we killed the last mouse.

The stockings were hung by the Xbox with care,

Full of tranq darts (in case they were “nom-ed” by a bear.)

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of 4Chan danced through their heads.

And mama in her nightgown and me in my hat,

Had just settled down, (after killing the cat.)

When out of the lawn arose such a clatter,

I sprang up from the bed to see what was the matter!

But in my hurry, I tripped, shattered my skull, and had to spend 3 weeks in the I.C.U.

It was the worst Christmas ever.