The Mysterious Potato Bag

5 Mar

There sits in my shelf, a bag. A bag of mysterious powers. Mysterious… potato related powers.

(Which, lets face it, are the best kind of powers. Wouldn’t Cyclops be a lot more bearable if he shot out mashed potatoes instead of angst/lasers?)

I have waited FOREVER for that reference.

“You can’t kill what’s already a dead Cyclops’ ghost!”

If, for example, somebody wanted to cook a potato without stabbing it or tossing it in to various hot things like a Mortal Kombat stage, then you simply put it in the bag!

DID YOU THINK IT WOULD BE THAT SIMPLE?! HAH HAH HAH! YOU HAVE FALLEN IN TO MY TRAP YET AGAIN!

First, you have to wrap it in wet paper towels!

And… yeah, that’s about it. You put it in the bag, then microwave it.

Okay, fine, it is that simple. Shut up. Its a cool bag.

I’ve yet to figure out why or how this mysterious bag works (Did I mention mysterious? It’s mysterious.) but I am almost positive it involves Satan.

Potatoes are, after all, the tool of the devil, so it would make perfect sense that he would create a bag to spread the evil to the world. Well. The parts of the world that eat potatoes. (Okay, so it’s mostly Ireland.)

Did I mention I like potatoes? I like potatoes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: