Tear Out My Spy-ne

25 Mar

I am always a fan of birthdays, which is why I take the time to shamelessly humiliate myself every time one comes along. And, according to the Omegle home page, today is Omegle’s birthday!


In celebration, let’s go through Omegle’s Spy Mode and make fun of the random people who say really, really stupid things. Which, lets face it, is EVERYBODY WHO USES OMEGLE. With the exception of me, who is great.


nicki minaj’s ass!: That’s the least sexy thing I’ve heard since that Fran Drescher audio-book on shaving pubic hair.

Pretend that i am a child and give me “The Talk”: Son, diarrhea is like a storm raging inside you.

Im inlove with a girl that likes me a bit but im to coward to talk to here what should i do?: You put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better.

How sexy is Justin Bieber?: He’s about as sexy as a pomelo, and half a delicious.

What’s wrong with sex with dogs? I just don’t get why it’s illegal.. :(: Allow me to answer your question by screaming incoherently.


That is all.

why is snot green?: Because God hates you.

I found myself incredibly aroused by the prospect of myself and Sherlock together…only with Sherlock as a bee. Me [CENSORED] all over his little fuzzy bee body and [CENSORED] him hard: BEES DON’T WORK THAT WAY.

Also, bees are scary.

If you can find a place to put your penis in that, you deserve a medal.

HI everyone… im a crippled kid and a couple of bullies stole my crutches and beat the living hell out of me 😦 they whipped out there one eyed monster and gave me a snow storm 😦 help me!: And by “snowstorm”, I assume you mean that they were all weather wizards.

any females wanna KiK a cute guy.? @smoketillichoke_tgod: Okay, why do people keep doing this? Do you honestly expect some girl to say, “Gosh, I am incredibly horny but it’s so sad that I don’t have anyone to KIK with and I lack the ability to alt tab away and find some standard porn for some reason or another and- Gasp! Somebody wishes to KIK with me! And the fact that they just randomly threw it on Omegle without even the effort to first hold up a conversation shows how incredibly committed and thoughtful they are!”

And seriously, who the hell uses “KIK”?


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