Omegle: The Most Dangerous Game

29 May

(Yeah, at this point, I’ve just given up on title puns.)

Trying to get in to Omegle is a risky business. You take one wrong step in Spy Mode (which allows one to answer questions from any random person in the world) and you’ll step in to a great big pile of “I-don’t-want-to-know-what”.

It’ll take a certain kind of man to go through that chaos, and that man… IS ME.

(Possibly. I haven’t checked yet.)

Ahem.

Hey f 13 looking for CLEAN chat on kik with girls or guys no older then 14 kik me at awper009

“Clean”? You obviously don’t know how this works.

Can women be where gay men play? Fuck the military and the navy. Whites are retards Why can’t they be our slaves?

Oh, you are just precious. 

Can I fuck u? – I’m female btw

Unless you suddenly developed the ability to stick your vagina through the speakers, I’m afraid you’re out of luck.

Urgh, that mental image.

Should teens have kids?

Yes, but only if they can steal them fair and square.

If you could have three wishes what would they be (no extra wish wishes)

Whores, whores, and genie whores.

You’ve never laid in the beds that I’ve made. Don’t tell me about being afraid. You’ve never died the ways that I’ve died. What do you know about speaking to God?

Actually, speaking to God is really easy. He’s pretty laid back, and he’s a big fan of ridiculous wigs.

These are God’s chosen children.

Is it ok if I do your mom… A favor and clean the kitchen? Got ya! You should have seen your face

You… you can see my face?

OH GOD.

what’s your favorite unusual porn site ?

Disney.com, obviously!

Kissing tip #1 DON’T HAVE STANKY BREATH. Kissing tip #2. DON’T KISS WITH FOOD OR GUM IN YOUR MOUTH. Kissing tip #3 Open your mouth JUST wide enough to fit either their lower OR their bottom lip.

One second, lemme write this down. “Open mouth”, you say?

What’s the lie you tell yourself most?

“It’s totally supposed to throb like that.”

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