Madhere: Part Four

3 Jun

“Whatcha writing?”

Todd looked up from his laptop, blinking in the early morning sun. A young girl stood in front of him, with far too much make-up on, a skirt so short that it technically qualified as a handkerchief with aspirations of greatness, and a t-shirt that was more “v” than neck.

He shook his head. Man. Teenagers.

“It must be pretty important for you to work on this early in the day,” she purred. “And seeing as nobody else is here,” she gestured around the bus station. “And we have nothing to do until the bus gets here, I was hoping we could get… acquainted.”

The clicking noise she made when her tongue piercing hit her teeth was… interesting.

“Torture porn.” muttered Todd.

“Huh?”

“You asked what I’m writing. I’m reviewing torture porn. Specifically, a movie in which a domineering and psychotic woman steals babies and raises them to be murderous rednecks.”

The girl frowned. “Oh. Um. Okay.”

Todd sighed. “Said murderous rednecks then take an entire party hostage and snap people’s necks, scalp people, and rape people, specifically women. But it’s okay, because they don’t steal family heirlooms, which makes ‘forcing two people to fight to decide who gets raped’ perfectly okay.”

“I… should probably go.” the girl stammered.

Todd continued in a dull monotone. “And while all that’s going on, a maniac in a goatee drags a woman around, stealing money and forcing two drunk girls to knife fight to the death, to which the prize is ‘bullet to the head’. He even takes the time to shoot a cop, because he’s just not happy unless he commits three or four atrocities a day.”

Why are you still talking?!”

“Then it’s discovered that the wife of the party is hiding money from the crooks because she wants to support a baby which isn’t born yet, despite the fact that she clearly has enough money to support herself, so she lights the house on fire to kill the crazy woman, which wasn’t enough to stop her from coming back from the dead to steal her baby.”

The girl took an involuntary step backwards, tripped, and fell right on her behind. It would have provided Todd a delightful up-skirt shot, had he not been staring her square in the eyes the entire time.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go meet with my new employees at a café, despite the fact that I got zero sleep last night, and decide what new torture porn we’re going to review tomorrow. And out of said employees, one is a jackass with delusions of grandeur and less morals than brain cells, one just went through a nasty break-up and we currently have a betting pool for how long it’ll take till she stabs one of us and poops in the wound, and one got this job by threatening to murder people and hide the bodies if we didn’t meet with her. And then there’s me, and I’m wearing a motherfucking bowtie. A motherfucking bowtie.” Todd finished.

The silence hang in the air.

“Ooh, look there’s my bus! Bye now.”

Todd stood up, calmly walked in to the bus, and headed on his way.

The girl, meanwhile, sat on the side-walk and considered her life choices.

Maybe I should take up a hobby that involves less ‘soliciting anonymous sex at bus stops’. Like knitting. I think I could try knitting.

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6 Responses to “Madhere: Part Four”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Madhere: Part Five | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - June 9, 2013

    […] Parts One, Two, Three or Four, click […]

  2. Madhere: Part Six | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - June 20, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four or Five, click […]

  3. Madhere: Part Seven | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - June 30, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five or Six, check […]

  4. Madhere: Part Eight | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - June 30, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, or Seven, click […]

  5. Madhere: Part Nine | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - July 10, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, click […]

  6. Madhere: Part Ten | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - July 12, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, or Nine, click […]

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