Madhere: Part Eight

30 Jun

(For parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, or Seven, click here.)

Meanwhile, at the Café, things were… degrading rapidly.

“It does not have cobwebs!” screamed Lilah. “My vagina has ladyparts, just like everyone else!”

“Oh please!” scoffed Nina. “We could put up a sign that says ‘this way to nunnery’ and nobody would notice a difference!”

Across the room, Merri leaned over the counter to Joe Washington. “Should we kick them out?”

“Nah.” yawned Joe. “We have catfight insurance, we’ll be fine.”

Merri frowned. “That’s… not a thing?”

Lilah slammed her ice cream down, which would probably have been more impressive if she hadn’t spilt it on herself. “That’s it! I am done with this crappy website and your crappy… crap face!”

Fine! I’m done too! And you suck at insults!” Nina began wheeling away.

Meanwhile, across the city, in the residence of one “Nina O’Brian”, a thought was hatched. An evil, vile, dastardly thought.

And said thought, naturally, belonged to one black cat, with a white spot over one eye and one white ear.

His name… was Shockingly Racist.

*insert dramatic music here*

And, with a yarn ball in one ha- er, “paw” and a fish in the other, Shockingly Racist engaged in an epic campaign of terror, the likes of which would be bemoaned by Miss O’Brian and her revolving door of suitors for generations.

Unfortunately, said “campaign of terror” was restricted entirely to “dismantle a spice rack” and “poop in a cookie jar”. But that didn’t stop Shockingly Racist from gossiping about his “campaign” to all the “hot kitteh bitches”.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: All references to “hot kitteh bitches” belongs entirely to the cat, and is not representative of this editor, this writer, this website, or this internet. Except, of course, for that one really creepy corner of the internet.)

END OF PART EIGHT.

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5 Responses to “Madhere: Part Eight”

  1. Tim Hurley July 1, 2013 at 8:18 pm #

    Yes! Shockingly Racist! For one very brief moment, all was right in the universe (And by that, I mean the cat. I am not advocating racism in any form).

    • averystrangeplace July 1, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

      I’m glad you approve! I added that bit with Shockingly Racist partially because cats are great, but mostly because it turns out writing two girls fighting is REALLY HARD, YO, and I already used up all my vagina based dialogue.

    • Tim Hurley July 1, 2013 at 9:41 pm #

      I get ya. Run out of vagina jokes, bring in a pussy. I loved the name when I first read it, and I said to myself, I don’t care if it is a cat or not (though I do love cats), that character needs to be expanded upon.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Madhere: Part Nine | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - July 10, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, click […]

  2. Madhere: Part Ten | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - July 12, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, or Nine, click […]

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