Madhere: Part Nine

9 Jul

(For parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, click here.)

“Are… are we sure we want to go in there?” muttered Darren, as he and Todd stood outside the Café. “I’m pretty sure we could just fire them, and write off this entire incident as a business expense.”

“What is this ‘we’, white man?” snorted Todd.

“I just think, as a group, we should… wait, you’re white too.”

“My point remains valid.”

The two of them took a simultaneous breath, and stepped in to the reassuring smells and atmosphere of the Café. Once they entered, they expected chaos. They expected screaming, and shouting, and violence, and blood, and the fragrant odour of ‘whatever bone marrow smells like’.

Instead, Darren and Todd walked straight in the middle of the Café’s lunch rush.

Wait, a lunch rush?! Wow, this breakfast meeting has really gotten out of control, thought Todd.

“Oh, there you assholes are!” snapped Terri the Barista. “Take your damn troublemakers and get out! They’re taking up table space!”

“Wait, they’re still here?” whispered Darren.

“Huh. I thought one of them would have taken the other out, Old Yeller style.” Todd pointed through the crowd. “I think our table was over there.”

They struggled through the crowd of thick, caffeine starved patrons, but it was not easy. A combined mixture of hideous personal odour and general grouchiness made things… interesting.

Darren’s highlights included getting run-over by a stroller, being shrieked at for being in between somebody and their sugar, and wandering in to a table, located at exactly crotch height, while Todd’s highlights consisted of breathing in something that tasted like death, and somehow getting bitten.

They managed to escape, moderately worse for wear, and spied Nina and Lilah hunched over the table, plotting.

“… So we’ll run the series for a couple months, check how people are responding, then convert it to comics?” Nina was saying.

“Yeah, but we’ll need to make sure we space it out evenly, we don’t want people getting tired of it.” Lilah nodded. “And we’ll need to make sure that all the characters get a spot in the limelight, so people we’ll know what to expect for the comic version.”

“Are… are you guys fucking working?!” snapped Todd.

“Um. Yes?” frowned Lilah.

“Why, shouldn’t we be? Did I severally misunderstand this job?” Nina arched an eyebrow.

“Well, when we left, you guys seemed at each other’s throats, and not in a sexy way!” Darren eyed them both, looking for any scratch marks or wounds.

He thinks that’d be ‘sexy’? Note to self, stop letting him give me back rubs, thought Todd.

“We were like that, and we started fighting… and then we both realized how much we both needed this job.” Nina yawned. “Then we started doing actual work crap.”

“Score! Let’s get this work party started!” wooted Todd as he sat down. “I have some great ideas for a new series, and-”

“Hey, what were you guys off doing?” interjected Lilah. “Were you getting food, or walking, or talking, or-”

“NOTHING!” yelled Darren. “NOTHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT! IN FACT, WE DIDN’T EVEN TALK. WE SLIPPED ON BALL GAGS THE SECOND WE STEPPED OUT. COMPLETE SILENCE. WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT YOU.”

The table fell silent.

“You suck at this.” sighed Todd.

END OF PART NINE.

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One Response to “Madhere: Part Nine”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Madhere: Part Ten | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - July 12, 2013

    […] parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, or Nine, click […]

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