Madhere: Part Ten

12 Jul

(For parts OneTwoThreeFourFiveSixSevenEight, or Nine, click here.)

“Oh, no, you didn’t!” laughed Lilah.

“I did! I swear I did!” Darren took a swig of something dark and brown that everybody was hoping was coffee. “And nobody in the damn kindergarten had the heart to tell her! I mean, she was so damn proud of that ratty thing!”

“You bastard!” giggled Nina. “How old were you when you did that?”

“Are you kidding? That was about a week ago.”

Todd leaned back in his chair, revelling in his co-worker’s chatter. Maybe this is going to work out, thought Todd. And maybe I won’t have to kill the three of them and write it off as a business expense.

He reached in to his satchel, and pulled out his laptop. Might as well upload Lilah’s introductory post!

Todd signed in to Madhere, and brought up a new post.

“Hey, faithful disciples! Todd here, and I am very pleased to announce that we have hired a new writer! A young woman, by the name of Lilah Quintus, has joined our ranks! She’s smart, a damn fine writer, and capable of breaking Darren’s arm in six places! And I can’t stop using exclamation points, apparently!”

Todd inserted the introductory paragraph Lilah had originally sent him, and the picture that she had sent along, and posted it to Madhere, along with all the social media sites. Well, that’s done, and- hey! We’ve already got comments!


“Zomfgwtfbbq, she looks fucking hot.”

“hai, i’m ricky, and you have some truly magnificent hooters.”

“I’d totally bone her.”

“Now, just to be clear, how much money would I have to pay for you to touch my genitals?”

“GLASSES. /bonerbonerboner.”

“And now I don’t have to sign in to other sites to find my porn! Thanks, guys!”

“I’d totally bone her.”

Todd groaned, gritted his teeth, and immediately opened a comment.

“Did I mention she’s a massive lesbian?”

A moment of silence filled the comment section.

“I’d totally scissor her.”

Todd sighed. “Good enough.”


(And thus ends the first story arc of Madhere! What d’ya think? Is it a decent change of pace? Ooh, and who’s your favourite character? Other than Shockingly Racist, of course.)


One Response to “Madhere: Part Ten”

  1. Bob Bonsall July 15, 2013 at 3:05 pm #

    I must have more. And excluding Shockingly Racist (although how can you?), I simply can’t get enough of Darren.

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