Freshly Riffed 42: So Long, And Thanks For All The References

22 Jul

Welcome back to Freshly Riffed, the only web series that’s breaking both kneecaps AND funky fresh dance moves!

According to Professor Sex, the world’s leading expert on all things with nipples, Freshly Riffed is where I make fun of the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts. Also, wait, that has nothing to do with sex! What the hell, Professor?!

Each title will be linked to the original author, and remember; All mockery is for mockery’s sake only.

Ahem.

Why Nothing Is Done About Climate Change

… Because Al Gore didn’t use a big enough screen?

BIGGER, DAMN YOU!

Stuck In The Twitter Funhouse

Yeah, this used to be a funhouse, but now it’s full of evil clowns!

Always A Mistress, Never A Mrs.

Wait, there’s a difference?

Open Letter To My Son On His First Birthday

I will pay ten dollars, no questions, to the man who can explain the difference between an open letter and a normal one.

Make Up Your Mind

Ooh, I have mascara for that!

BUH DUM TSH.

NO I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE MASCARA.

So, Just What Are We Dealing With Here?

Dolomite, baby!

David Bowie Is…

… Perplexingly gendered?

Did You Get My Email? (And Other Virtual Concerns) 

And by “other virtual concerns”, you mean porn, right?

Yes, You Have To Choose. But Can’t You Choose Everything?

… You don’t know what “choose” means, do you.

Tonight, We Are Young.

But tomorrow, we’re old as fuck.

And yesterday, we were sperm.

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3 Responses to “Freshly Riffed 42: So Long, And Thanks For All The References”

  1. Tim Hurley July 23, 2013 at 8:27 am #

    An open letter is, as the name suggests, really a letter designed to create a general conversation and get as many participants as possible. Though it is usually addressed to one person / organization, it is intended for a broad consumption. Think of it as a ‘Letter to the Editor’ section in newspapers, an opinion piece, thought that’s right, you -don’t- read newspapers. :p

    I’ll take the $10 deposited into my usual offshore account, the one you’ve been sending the money to already. Just keep the payments coming, and no one will have to know about your embarrassing past. The pictures I have speak for themselves.

    • Tim Hurley July 23, 2013 at 8:29 am #

      *though that’s right — damn spelling errors.

    • averystrangeplace July 23, 2013 at 10:57 am #

      Ooh, so THAT’S what an open letter is! So, wouldn’t any letter that everybody can see technically qualify as an open letter?
      And for the last time, I gave you those pictures in confidence! I didn’t know it was illegal to do that to a horse! Or a US senator!

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