Ladies and gentlemen, this is when you must kill me. Open fire.
(Please aim for one of the less hurty organs.)
Most of you, except for the most die-hard alcoholics, will remember August 9. It was, without going in to details, a day. It had hours. You know how it works. That’s when I uploaded (Freshly) Press Yourself, that Eminem parody!
…
No, wait. I DIDN’T.
I.
FUCKING.
DIDN’T.
For the first time in MORE THAN A YEAR, I did not upload on time. It uploaded EXACTLY on midnight, instead of 11:59 like I’ve done lately! (YES I’M WORKING ON THAT.)
Now, that’s not to say I didn’t write it on August 9. Because I didn’t. I spent about a WEEK figuring that stupid thing out! (I apparently can’t rap. I’m that white.)
Wait, so, the first post in a long while that I actually spent days working on, and it is also the first post in a long while that doesn’t upload when it’s supposed to?
…
Lord, I hate this job sometimes.
The hate is swelling in you now. Use it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.