Omegle, The Freshmaker

17 Aug

I like to assume that deep inside everyone, there’s good. That there is decency, honour, and integrity within us all. That inside everyone, there’s- what’s that? We’re talking about Omegle today?

Never mind.

If you didn’t already know, Omegle is a website that allows people to connect emotionally, if by “connect” you mean porn, and by “people” you ALSO mean porn. In fact, just replace every word in that sentence with “porn”.

Ahem!

16 f lesbian. it would be really awesome if you could follow my tumblr page. 15+ its a bit explicit. ihatemakinggoddamnusernames

Okay, you know what? FINE. If you’re so fucking desperate to get viewers you have to start selling yourself out, let’s see what you have to offer!

Hmm… oh, it’s a photo blog! Well, I guess that’s not too ba-

… What.

*bookmarked*

how should I ask out my crush and should I text her or talk

According to all the relationship guides I keep stealing, you need to ask her out with A FLOCK OF WELL TRAINED CARRIER PIGEONS!

My dad was on the couch and i jumped on his nuts with the knees to see his reaction and now he doesnt talk to me, its been four days now, and i keep apologising what should i do?

Slit your wrists and write an apology note with your own blood.

That or chocolates.

Given that male homosexuals and bisexuals have higher STD infection rates (they do), shouldn’t they be isolated from the general population as a public health measure? Why not?

Congratulations! You win my “Worst Fucking Human Being Ever” contest! As a reward, please accept me sodomizing you with your own fucking cock without removing it!

Wait, so you’re saying that ISN’T an actual picture? DAMMIT!

Did anyone see that video of Justin Beiber makin out with a mannequin on youtube? I was never even a fan but damn he was good that was sexy im wet now dammit Justin

Great, now my genitals have retracted in to my abdomen. Thanks for that.

what screen size in inches do u prefer for a smart phone?

It’s not the size, it’s how you use it.

By sticking it in somebody else’s vagina. That’s how phones works.

Protip: About to have sex but have no condoms? Wrap your dick in duct tape and spray some WD40 for lube

Goddammit, what does Omegle have against my genitals tonight.

I poo the bed whenever i have a wet dream

I quit.

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