Freshly Riffed 47: With A Wink, And A Smile, And A Vial Of Meth

3 Sep

Welcome back to Freshly Riffed, the only web series powerful enough to supplant most major religions, as well as most major hair products.

Is there even a difference?!

According to the list of Back-To-School shopping scrawled in the blood of all those oppose me, Freshly Riffed is where I make fun of the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts. Also, no I’m not stressed out about starting school tomorrow what are you talking about,

Each title will be linked to the original author, and remember; All mockery is for mockery’s sake only.

Ahem.

I Was A Teenage Sandwich, Or How To Be A Great Writer

This raises so many questions.

“Superman Vs. Batman” Requires Decimated City, Calls Detroit

Wait, “decimated”? So, one in every ten people in Detroit was killed? When did that happen? What, did I miss a party or something?

A Tale Of Starch: My Descent Into Madness

Starch equals… Yog Sothoth?

That makes way too much sense.

Pictured: Strict laundering practice.

Experience And

… Proper sentence structure?

How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk About It

Well, not strangling me is a good start!

(Yes, that happened, a Christian guy strangled me because I wasn’t Jesus.)

(…)

(Don’t ask.)

How To Write Hugely Successful Young Adult Novels

Nobody actually WRITES young adult novels, they just kind of appear when you get angsty enough.

Burn them! Burn the young adult novels! Free us at last!

Okay, We Have To Do Something About Syria 

So, lets send them a fruit basket!

On Writing (And Evolving) Online

As yes, evolving! Little known fact, all writers are actually a form of Pokemon.

Class Acts

Don’t mention classes! In fact, don’t mention anything even remotely or tangentially related to school!

No I’m not stressed out about school shut up all the way.

On Twerking

Fuck this, I quit.

 

6 Responses to “Freshly Riffed 47: With A Wink, And A Smile, And A Vial Of Meth”

  1. The Cheese September 3, 2013 at 10:37 pm #

    Glad you hated the title of my post. 🙂

  2. Ethan Moses September 4, 2013 at 7:02 am #

    Awesome! A few people mentioned Poe, but I was definitely going for an H.P. Lovecraft vibe.

  3. yi-ching lin September 4, 2013 at 7:07 am #

    (smile) thank you for the…!

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