Freshly Riffed 50: Anniversary Edition!

26 Sep

Welcome back to Freshly Riffed, the only web series with FIFTY POSTS!

QUICK, ANNIVERSARY SONG OFF THE PORT BOW!

It’s kinda hard to believe I’ve kept this series, in which I make fun of the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts, going for this long. And it’s not even as if I’m getting paid! If somebody felt like giving me a pay cheque at this point, I wouldn’t say no, is my point.

Each title will be linked to the original author, and remember; All mockery is for mockery’s sake only. Besides, it’s our birthday, you’re not allowed to be offended!

Ahem!

Why I Don’t Teach Anymore

“They still don’t let me within 500 metres of a school.”

Geography Is Destiny

GEOGRAPHY IS YOUR DESTINY. GEOGRAPHY RULES YOUR LIFE. GEOGRAPHY RULES MY LIFE. GEOGRAPHY RULES EVERYTHING. GEOGRAPHY IS OUR NEW GOD. ALL HAIL GEOGRAPHY!

Please, deposit your virgin sacrifice in the nearest receptacle.

The Bus Across Java

If this isn’t about a bus that travels across a lake of coffee, I want my fucking money back.

I Am The Sugar Man

Worst pimp name ever.

Why Are Young People Unhappy?

Time Vampires are in the process of stealing their youth, you see, so they have to be really uptight all the time. This also explains why all young people carry stakes at all times.

The Case Of The Missing People

Turns out, they got snatched by Grues.

WHY DO I EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

“You’re Hot”: Gender And Vlogging

Okay, “vlogging” is NOT a word, and if it is, I am killing myself right now.

Hole In My Heart

You… you might want to have a doctor look at that.

Who Cares?

Oi, I thought apathy was MY thing!

Musings From A Recovering People Pleaser

That sounds… messy.

"He slimed me."

“He slimed me.”

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