Catchphrase And Release

29 Sep

Tally ho, insubordiants! You know, I was sitting up here in my multi-million dollar space station powered by the souls of those who got in my way, and I started thinking… I need a catchphrase!

Now, you might say, “But Erik, you magnificent stallion! You already did something like this about your tagline! What’s the difference this time?”. And that’s when I discreetly shoot you in the kneecap, shove a chloroformed rag down your throat, and bury the body behind an Arby’s.

So let’s get started!

Hmm, how about “We try to be interesting”?

Nah! For some reason, that sounds… vaguely familiar.

Oh well, fucked if I know! Maybe it was a pop song?

“A very strange place? More like a very grain place!”

Okay, no. That’ll only work if I get trapped in a grain silo haunted by ghosts, and I can’t imagine that happening more than twice.

“Suck my cock.”

That’s… less of a catchphrase, more of a profanity.

So, naturally, this is the best option.

“Make it so.”

I’d need to be a lot more bald to pull that off, and I’m not willing to give up my luscious locks that easily! You’re taking them off my cold fucking corpse!

“Because, naturally…”

Hmm. Condescending, jackassish, talking down to people… it’s perfect! I can’t think of a single reason I shouldn’t choose this one-

Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!”

YES. I WANT IT AN UNHOLY AND CARNAL WAY.

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