Freshly Riffed 54: Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, If I’m Schizophrenic, Then I Am Too

28 Oct

Welcome back to Freshly Riffed, the only web series where IT IS ONLY THREE DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN!

“Really? We couldn’t tell.”

According to the Halloween store I’ve holed up in, Freshly Riffed is where I make fun of the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts. Also, you’ll never take me alive, retail workers! MWA HAH HAH HAH!

Each title will be linked to the original author, and remember; All mockery is for mockery’s sake only.

Ahem!

The Wisdom Of Keanu Reeves

“Dude.” – Mr. Reeves. Truly, a man of many words. And all of them are “dude”.

The Line Between Madness And Magic

It’s a thin line, composed entirely out of squirrels and buttons.

“Take Nothing But [Fill In The Blank]”

Take Nothing But My Virginity.

Living The Unimaginable

Dammit! If only you had said “inconceivable” instead, I could has made a beautiful Princess Bride reference!

“Not making a Princess Bride reference? INCONCEIVABLE!

I Was Questioned By The Police

Oh, it’s the wacky new game show that’s sweeping the nation!

The Night Visitor

The first person who says “he’s climbin’ in yo’ windows, he’s snatching your people up” gets a swift kick to the groin.

20 Signs You Really, Really Hate People

18: You’ve killed a baby.

19: You’ve set bamboo traps inside funeral parlours.

20: You’re secretly Hitler.

Oh my god, I get so much mileage out of this picture!

Oh my god, I get so much mileage out of this picture!

We Are GAMEY

… says the man to the hungry cannibal.

Season Of Mists And Spiders

Ah, what a lovely day! A fine mist is in the air, the sun is shining in the sky, and- OH FUCK THE MISTS ARE FULL OF SPIDERS.

The System’s Out Of Order, And The Fire Hasn’t Even Started Yet

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Okay, there we go, everything’s on fire!

My work here is done!

2 Responses to “Freshly Riffed 54: Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, If I’m Schizophrenic, Then I Am Too”

  1. vagabondurges October 28, 2013 at 11:41 pm #

    Hahaha I like it, you may have inspired my next post…
    (My favorite is the Mists and Spiders)

    • averystrangeplace October 29, 2013 at 12:07 am #

      Oooh, I’ve inspired your next post? Does that mean you’re going to light something on fire? I might have to stick around for that!

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