Freshly Riffed 55: Cover What I Am, Look Carefully

6 Nov

Welcome back to Freshly Riffed, the only web series divisible by zero!


… Fuck.

According to the residual energy obtained from those time travelling Fox executives, Freshly Riffed is where I make fun of the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts. Also, I think causality just doubled in on itself, now I’m the one who got Firefly cancelled.

Each title will be linked to the original author, and remember; All mockery is for mockery’s sake only.


New York & London Double Exposure

Double exposure? Aren’t there laws against that?

Suspending Disbelief Is The Cure

And the disease is… believing things, I guess.

My Moustache Brings All The Girls To The Yard

And they’re like, “is that a caterpillar on your lip or are you just happy to see me”, damn right, it’s a caterpillar who’s happy to see you.

And the caterpillar also has a moustache.

Don’t Vote! Do Something Useful!

Like masturbating! Or playing with a bouncy ball! Or some bizarre combination thereupon!

Robert Carlson’s Glass Mind

Yeah, he thought about a resonance frequency once, we were picking brain shards out of the carpet for a week.

Daddy, Where Do Pumpkins Come From?

Well, you see, son, when a man loves a woman very much… they fuck a pumpkin.

Yarnbomb! Introducing The Squid Tree

Ooh, the Squid Tree! I smell a Syfy original mooooovie!

No, wait. That’s the smell of death, my mistake.

No To NaNoWriMo

Ah, yes, the movement about writing a novel through November. You do realize most people suck at writing novels, huh? Me especially? This seems like an excellent way to create as many horrible novels at once in some vain attempt to expend all the suckness in the world at once!

God, You’re Such A Freak

… Well, fuck you too.

How We Can All Learn From The Creativity Of A Child

See, we take this USB port, shove it through their forehead, and hook the damn thing up to an iPhone! Neat, huh?

One Response to “Freshly Riffed 55: Cover What I Am, Look Carefully”

  1. Tim Hurley November 7, 2013 at 10:10 pm #

    Do not… I repeat, DO NOT!… give Syfy any more ideas. …Talk about destroying the Earth. I’m more worried about Syfy than whatever atoms they’re throwing at each other in that giant collider under Switzerland.

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