7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be A Writer

2 Dec

7: With the possible exception of stamp collecting, professionally counting rocks, and kidnapping and castrating neighbourhood strays, there is not a less pathetic way to spend your time.

6: It is IMPOSSIBLE to impress girls by saying you’re a writer. Unless you write hardcore porn, I suppose, but then you still have to guess her fetish! Like a game of Russian Roulette, but with dicks.

5: If you’re using a pencil, your wrist is going to hurt something awful, and not in the fun way.

4: And if you’re NOT using a pencil, and are writing with a word processor, then word processors are specifically designed to ruin your life. (Clippy is the anti-christ.)

3: Trying to write something that DOESN’T eventually develop in to porn is a physical impossibility. Try it. NOW.

2: You’ll have to come up with your own titles, which on the “difficulty” scale is slightly above “chewing through your own leg to get at a pancake”.

1: If you become a writer, than you’re competition.

And I will have to eliminate you.

2 Responses to “7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be A Writer”

  1. Tim Hurley December 2, 2013 at 11:53 pm #

    You know, there’s probably a million posts on WordPress sites (and about two million posts on any other ‘blogging’ (…I shudder to use that word) medium) on this topic alone, but you’ve gotten to the short and not-so-very-sweet of it. Writing is a horrible way to spend a life. Yet I love it.

    …I’m just grateful I don’t keep to any set schedule and have to post a new article every day. That… that sucks.

  2. Bob Bonsall December 16, 2013 at 9:17 am #

    Challenge accepted.

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