I… Live… AGAIN!

25 Dec

[Editor’s Note: … Erik? Eriiiiik? Where are you?]

Check under the cardboard boxes.

[Editor’s Note: Do I want to know why you’re under there?]

Because the cat was already under the tree and she’s not sharing.

[Editor’s Note: Duly noted. What are you doing here on Christmas? Don’t you have some kind of holiday parties to go to? Family? It’s the time of hope on earth and goodwill towards men!]

Yeah, but I have to write my post today!

[Editor’s Note: But-]

Is it not my sworn duty to write a post, every single day, regardless of sleet or rain or storm or porn?

[Editor’s Note: Well, normally, but-]

And if I forsake my duty, then who will it fall to! You? Tim Hurley? That hobo at the bus stop who challenges my opinions? Tell me!

[Editor’s Note: Look, you asshole, I’m trying to tell you-]

THIS ISN’T A HOBBY, MY DEAR MAN! THIS IS THE SOLE BASTION AGAINST HUMANITY’S INHUMANITY TO ITSELF! IF IT FALLS, SO DOES THE MINDS OF CHILDREN EVERY WHERE! AND WHEN THAT FALLS, THE SILENT GRAY ENTERS OUR SOULS AND DESTROYS OUR REALITY!

[Editor’s Note: … ]

Anyway, you were saying?

[Editor’s Note: I was saying that nobody actually reads your website on Christmas Day.]

… Fuck.

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One Response to “I… Live… AGAIN!”

  1. Tim Hurley December 26, 2013 at 1:25 pm #

    Does the day after Christmas count? …. …. ….I take it that means no.

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