Freshly Riffed 62: I’m Ever Upper Class High Society

3 Jan

Welcome back to Freshly Riffed, the only web series written by a team of flamboyant, yet tasteful, dance choreographers in the middle of their big show.

Pictured: Every writer ever.

According to that one guy… you know, with the face, Freshly Riffed is where I make fun of the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts. Also, you know! He has a face! And genitals! You know!

Each title will be linked to the original author, and remember; All mockery is for mockery’s sake only.

Ahem!

I Am Living With Ghosts

And the fuckers never pay rent.

Finding Mrs. Coach

Oh, just put Ellis in a wig and call it a day.

The wacky sit-com duo that’s sweeping the nation!

She Walked Barefoot In The Snow For Me

“Admittedly, I was holding a gun to her head…”

I Love ‘Harry Potter’, But It’s Time To Let It End

Oooh, I have just the thing for that! Hand me that shovel!

Adult Male: Not A Serial Killer, Looking For Love

Me’thinks thou doth protest too much! Just be honest, you’re looking for the perfect skin suit for those long walks on the beaches, am I right?

Is Our Collective ADHD Really A New Thing?

No. No, I’m not doing that “start a sentence then act that I’m distracted” gag.

No.

Fuck you.

You don’t pay me enough. Fuck you.

Apple And Cardamom Waffles

For a second I thought it said “apple and condom waffles”.

And then I got sad.

Mind The Gap

God no, I HATE that store.

5 New Year’s Resolutions That Might Actually Work

“5: I resolve to finish this list.”

“4: I resolve to finish this sentence.”

“3: I resolve to use the number ‘three’ in a sentence.”

“2: I revolve to resolve resolve resolve.”

“1: Resolveolveresolveveveresolve.”

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