Omegle Will Never Take Me Alive

8 Jan

Time: 11:36 PM.

Target: Omegle, that website that lets me mock questions from global stupid people.

Amount Of Time I Have Before I Have To Post: Groin-grabbingly short.

Ahem!

Hi! How are you? I’m searching for girls who want to show me their feet

Well. At least he’s polite about it.

I hate when someone attempts to hack me on this site.

Yeah, good point! Anyway, what were you saying about your credit card number and social security information?

You would not believe how often this works.

I like anal if the person asking that question sees this

But you’re the- and the question- you already saw it-

… Whoa. You just blew my mind. With buttsex.

This site is about Trolls trolling Trolls

Wait. Does that make me the troll trolling trolls who are trolling trolls? I AM THE LORD OF META.

How should I eat my cum?

Very, very far away from me.

Farther.

fuck niggers

Is that a request or an order?

Have you ever been naked (or topless for a girl) in front of a person of the opposite sex, who wasn’t related to you, nor your partner? If so, narrate us.

*long drag from cigarette*

Well, it all started the day I flashed an entire room of first graders…

can I have some feedback on my painting so far? [URL REDACTED]

Well, sure, lemme just click that link-

ALERT. ALERT. ROBO-SYPHILIS CONTRACTED.  

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