Workin’ Hard Or… The Other Thing

14 Jan

[Editor’s Note: Psst! Erik! Where’ve you been?]

What? What the hell are you doing here?! Don’t I have locks on my apartment?!

[Editor’s Note: Thank god, you’re here! Where the fuck were you-]

What do you mean? It’s my day off!

[Editor’s Note: You don’t get days off! We officially own your ass till 20- wait. You didn’t think you get a day off just because they did their whole “sex toy” schtick yesterday, right?]

[Editor’s Note: … You didn’t write anything today, did you.]

[Editor’s Note: Please tell me you’re at least wearing pants.]

… Well, if you subscribe to the multiple universe theory, then in an infinite number of universes, I am wearing an infinite number of pants!

[Editor’s Note: Oh god. Is it… is it… pulsating?]

Yeah, and if you ask really nicely, it can hum a jaunty tune! 

[Editor’s Note: I will never stop throwing up.]

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