Omegle: Oh God, Stop The Bleeding

22 Jan

Oh god.

Oh god.

The blood is everywhere.

Help us.

Hide the body.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Oh, and also, people use Omegle to ask questions which I then make fun of.

Ahem!

you will get naked

Worst drill sergeant pick-up line ever.

Whats the best way to get a fat girl into bed? A forklift.

This is the song, written for the sex scene,

This is the song, sexism sucks…

HE TRIED TO FUCK ME WITH A FORKLIFT!

She rejected me, but I want to try again. How should I approach it this time? I was played by my best friend who set me up for failure so I want to try again

… Have you tried a forklift?

does anyone else peek at the urinal

Dude, don’t do that. You look in to that thing, and all you see is a mass of tentacles, the screams of those who’ve sinned in the eyes of Dagon, and a moldy urinal cake.

Have you ever been skinny dipping? If not, do you want to?

God no, stepping outside naked in Manitoba is like hanging a dinner bell around your jubblies and summoning the patron god of mosquitoes.

… That mental image makes me very uncomfortable.

Here’s an classic question I haven’t seen here. The main character from the last video game you played is now coming to kill you for unknown reasons. How screwed are you?

That’d be… Isaac Clarke, I guess.

I’m just gonna dismember myself now and save us all some trouble.

Look around you… Everything you see, i want to make dissapear. Except for the plants and animals.

… Why would that possibly seem like a good idea? Wouldn’t that include the sun? The atmosphere? Gravity? Yourself? The whole fucking planet? Every other star?!

girls that want my dick txt me,otherwise dont txt me at all

I’m pretty sure the only people who want your dick are scientists, attempting to discover how something on the sub-atomic level managed to get herpes.

*drops mic*

ERIK OUT.

I’m a hardcore gangster. Ask anyone.

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