LIST OF THINGS ACCOMPLISHED TODAY

25 Jan

– Woke up.

– Had some toast.

– Played video games.

– Moved furniture.

– Masturbated.

– Masturbated some more.

– Discovered that a random black woman in New York stole an old email account of mine and never thought to change the fucking password after she did it.

– Sleep.

DIAGNOSIS: Best day ever.

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