Omegle What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

28 Apr

I swear to god, one of these days, I’m just going to hire somebody to come up with these titles. It’s simpler than just randomly mashing pop culture references with the word “Omegle” and hoping desperately that something coherent will happen. Which, of course, IT NEVER FUCKING DOES!

… Erm. Yeah, anyway. Omegle. I mock it. Moving on.

Ahem!

are you gay??

I dunno, lemme check.

Yup.

You are gonna die next.check all your windows

I ALREADY AM A WINDOW.

*plot twist*

 how many times have you had sex?

I’m pretty sure I’m in negative numbers at this point. If I have any less sex, my genitals are going to collapse in on themselves and punch a hole through the space/time continuum. 

How does it make you feel that I have set known rapists in my area on fire?

The fact that it’s “pluralled” really makes me worried. What, do you live in Rapeytown Junction, home of the Rapetown Cougars? Rapetown, U.S.A?

What is the most effective way to build upper body strength in 2 months?

A scalpel, a tire pump, and no questions.

I love everything about the female butt

And you find yourself incapable of telling falsehoods about them?

i ate my hand

So there really IS porn about everything.

My boyfriend barely kissed me all day, do you think it was a coincidence or he just doesnt like me anymore?

Clearly, he has been sucking EVERY cock, and now his mouth permanently tastes like a bus station bathroom.

Do you have a movie suggestion?

Well, lemme tell you about a little movie called Trash Humpers…

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