The Three Wise Men, And Oh Yeah Also Omegle

14 Jul

… I really ought to come up with just a single blanket title for all this “mock Omegle” crap. It is just getting silly at this point.

Ahem!

i swear she said she was 18

Annnnnd right off the bat, everything is rapey as hell. Jesus, it’s like high school all over again.

Tee hee. Now you have to disconnect again.

Oh, well, in that case, fuck you in every orifice, starting with the ear canal and proceeding counter-clockwise.

Pussy is for f****ts. Real men love the dick.

Does the word nigger offend you?

WHY IS THE INTERNET MADE OUT OF TERRIBLE TODAY?!

Quit sucking my dick you semen thief!

INTERNET GO SIT IN THE CORNER UNTIL YOU LEARN HOW TO PLAY WITH YOUR TOYS.

For all you boys out there. Girls love the jeolousy. The clinginess. The all night conversations. We love the corny pick-up lines. And the cute nick names. So now you know what girls like.

Good god, going to Omegle for relationship advice is like going to a date rapist for drink recipes.

Hi girls, 10½ inch dick here. 😉

Um. Yeah, guys everywhere, lemme give you a little hint: PENISES DO NOT MEAN YOU ARE GOOD AT SEX. It can be USEFUL, perhaps, and even a nice selling point, but trying to sell your love making abilities with knowledge of your wang is like trying to sell a house with the light fixtures.

Pictured: A wang?

What if we were all born with watches on our wrists which counted down to the exact time we were going to meet our soulmate?

Hmm, that’s weird, my watch just says “HAH HAH GOOD LUCK WITH THAT”.

do you watch porn?

AM PORN. I HAVE TRANSCENDED REALITY, TRANSCENDED FLESH, TRANSCENDED YOUR PUNY BEING. I HAVE SUBLIMATED YOU PUNY NOTIONS OF SEX IN TO SOMETHING FAR GREATER THAN ANY ONE NAKED PERSON. I HAVE EXISTED SINCE THE FIRST STAR WANKED IN TO EXISTENCE, AND I SHALL EXIST UNTIL THE LAST PROTONS DECAY WITH AN AWKWARD ERECTION.

Er, I mean, no.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: