Lichdom: Battlesexism!

4 Sep

… Oh, for fuck’s sake, Lichdom.

So, here I am, sitting around and contemplating the next movie to review, and oh look, a new video game! Lichdom: Battlemage is the name, and I swiftly bought it up once I heard the plot synopsis. Basically, it’s like a first person shooter, only with magic. You can mix and match spells, attributes, effects, and so on and so forth. And I was excited! I’ve always wanted to be a completely over-powered wizard, tossing around completely over-powered spells!

[And FYI, even considering the harsh words I’m about to say about it, Lichdom is a pretty kickass game and I’d totally advise picking it up.]

And then, you cock-guzzling fuck-whistle, you just had to be completely stupid. Okay, see, this is the male wizard:

Looks good, right? Respectable? Maybe not the archetypal wizard, he looks more like a gruff bartender more likely to smash a stool over your head then cast magic missile, but he looks pretty badass! Someone you could take seriously, you know?

[And also, he’s voiced by the guy who did Joel in The Last Of Us, which kinda makes it a thousand times cooler. Can we have a downloadable chapter where this guy goes around and beats up mushroom zombies? Or more teenage lesbian romances, actually, that’d be way better.]

Annnnnnd here is the female wizard.

I… I don’t… what?! Okay, seriously, notice any differences here? Maybe the ever plunging neckline? Or the exposed tummy, for bad guys to more easily gut her? Or the fact that it is very clearly torn there, as though somebody did that to her?! I just- what?! And the fact that her voice actress is Commander Shepard just makes it all the clearer!

Mass Effect? Smaller waistline. Lichdom? Exposed navel, heaving cleavage, and cocked hips! Or hell, even The Last Of Us! That had some of the strongest female characters in gaming! So, please, somebody in production, I am begging you: Please tell me why you decided giving your female protagonist an exposed body just to make her sexy?! 

Wait, I think I just answered my own question.

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