Omegle Is Evolving! Omegle Has Evolved In To Omeglemon!

9 Sep

[Editor’s Note: Sorry, I still can’t find a copy.]

What?! But it’s the internet! There has to be a version of Paranormal Entity somewhere!

[Editor’s Note: Apparently not. Either that, or you’re just radically incompetent.]

Both, actually. Well, fuck. Now what am I going to write today?

*slow pan over to Omegle*

FUCK!

Ahem!

Baby are you a firework?

I dunno. Here, lemme light myself on fire- OH GOD THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.

Spam this bitch on kjk she didn’t wanna send me a nude

And ladies and gentlemen, we have officially found the Worst Person Ever! Somewhere, Adolf Hitler, Uwe Boll, and Ryan Seacrest are nodding approvingly.

What do you think of Transgender people?

Oh god, True Story Time: One time, at a party, there was this guy there who still had female plumbing, for lack of a better word, and nobody had properly introduced us, so I accidentally used the wrong pronouns all night. And then I realized my mistake, and then I died forever.

Pictured: Forever, dead, fo’ shizzle.

girls, first blowjob experience?

And every guy out there who is a master cocksucker just droops his head in sadness.

Any girls want to see a huge cumshot?

The answer is… yeah, no. Let’s go with no? Can I safely assume no? Like, consecutive layers of no?

I thought he had a huge crush on me (he would fidget, blush, avoid eye contact, became interested in my hobbies, stared etc) but he doesn’t answer my texts usually and never calls. Does he not like me

Sir or miss, I’m sorry to be the one to inform you of this… but your crush is secretly a constellation. Think, sir or miss, if you try and draw your crush’s face, does it end up as a series of disparate stars over a black background? If so, you’re wooing a constellation.

I masterbate 5 times a week, is that bad ?

Pssh, lightweight.

I’m feeling sad can you cheer me up? 😦

Oh, sure! Now, lemme tell you about a little film called Trash Humpers…

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