SAVIOR OF SPAMBOTS

19 Sep

[Editor’s Note: Just… just how long have you been awake?]

Depends. Does humanity still use the Gregorian calender?

[Editor’s Note: Oh, for fuck’s sake. What are you even doing in here, other than bring the local property taxes down?]

There’s a woman who desperately needs my help!

[Editor’s Note: On the internet? Dammit, have you been checking out those depressing Russian bride services again?]

No! Well, yes, but not now! See, this woman sent me a private message, and she says she’s been struggling with her sexuality!

[Editor’s Note: … Okay.]

And also, she’s being beaten by her husband!

[Editor’s Note: What.]

And she just got out of the hospital, and she doesn’t know what to do with her kid!

[Editor’s Note: And have you considered, just maybe, she might be lying?]

What?! Don’t be so callous, you monster!

[Editor’s Note: So, just to be clear, you find nothing weird about the way she randomly jumps topics from her bisexuality, to spousal abuse, to be baby, and back again?]

… Maybe she just have a word-of-the-day calender that she’s trying to work through really fast?

[Editor’s Note: Either you’ve been scammed, or being bisexual makes you a terrible writer.]

Huh. Then what’s my excuse?

[Editor’s Note: … Dude. Cock blocking my insults? Not cool.]

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