Internet Campfire Tales: When A School Trip Goes Wrong, A Creepypasta Review

21 Sep

Welcome back to Internet Campfire Tales, and you thought I forgot about this series, didn’t you!

(The answer is yes.)

internet_campfire_talesThat’s right, we’re back to reviewing Creepypastas! And today, we’ll be looking at When A School Trip Goes Wrong, and, spoiler alert, it’s going to involve a school trip going wrong.

Ahem!

“It was September 20, 2012, and our school was going on a trip. We were going to an amusement park called Walibi.”

Oh! So, it was, what, yesterday? Two years ago? … Topical?

“Me and my best buddy, Jake, were super excited, because we really loved the roller coaster ‘Goliath’.”

DING DING DING! FORESHADOWING FOUL, TOO OBVIOUS! THAT’S A TWENTY YARD PENALTY!

“I woke up at 6 AM, and I already felt the excitement in my stomach.”

He also woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, but that’s besides the point.

“The bus would leave at 8 AM, so I quickly made myself a sandwich and ate it as quickly as I could.”

I can already tell, the story of this guy’s sandwich is going to be fucking riveting. Spoiler alert, the plot twist is that he thought it was a roast beef sandwich, but it was actually a reuben!

… Well, fuck, now I want a reuben.

“I took a shower and got dressed. I left for school, and Jake and I met at the bridge along the way. I waved at him, but he didn’t wave back. I walked up to him, and when I came close I saw he looked like shit.”

… Hopefully not literally. I can handle horror stories, but coprophilia is another bag entirely. (And I checked with the marketing people, and I’m not allowed to change the name to “A Very Shit Place”.)

“”What’s wrong mate?” I asked him.”

‘Well, see, you keep forgetting your commas and it really bothers me.’

“He said that he hadn’t got much sleep, because he had had a horrible nightmare. I knew what he meant, because Jake had strange nightmares for over a year now.”

‘Strange’ nightmares? He had nightmares about me? … Well, damn, now I just feel guilty.

“It’s always the same: a man with scars all over his face stares at him from a distance with a freezing look. It just stands there.”

That’s… that’s not actually that scary. Um. Kind of annoying, I guess, so you get bonus points for that?

“I figured it was pretty scary if a person stares at you the whole time you’re sleeping.”

… You figured wrong.

“But this was different, he said. “He slowly walks in my direction, and when I try to walk away, I can’t move. It’s like I’m frozen or something.” “

Dude, you have the weirdest wet dreams.

“I tried to cheer him up and he said, “Ah, fuck it! Let’s go to Walibi!””

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE FRIEND.

“We sat in the bus for half an hour, and we were finally there! When we entered the park we could hear the screams from the roller coasters.”

Oh, PLEASE, why would something called “The Goliath” be scary-

Annnnnd now I’m peeing blood. Thanks for that.

“I was really excited but I was worried about Jake, I knew he loved Walibi but he seemed so quiet. He just walked, very slowly, without saying a word.”

Can they make this marriage work?

“”Let’s go to the Goliath!” I said with a big smile on my face, hoping that Jake would smile too. He didn’t, though. He just said, “Sure, but I got to take a piss first.” I should have stopped him…”

‘Never make the mistakes I made, people! Never let your boyfriend go to the bathroom!’

“I waited for a while and figured he was taking a dump or something.”

TOO MUCH INFORMATION DUDE.

“I sent him a text saying, “I’m going for the first ride, see you there soon?”. He didn’t reply, so I just went to the Goliath. The waiting line wasn’t very long, so I was already happy and excited!”

Good god, this man has the emotional capacity of a goldfish.

“After about 10 minutes, it was my turn. I checked my phone, and I saw that Jake had replied, “You will see me, soon enough…””

FORESHADOWING HITTING THE RUNWAY IN THREE, TWO, ONE…

“I got aboard and sat alone in a cart. The train went up and just before the drop I felt a chill going through my spine. And we dropped! I felt the adrenaline through my blood. And I screamed at the top of my lungs, but not because of the excitement. I saw someone tied down on the rails. I recognized the coat and shoes; it was Jake! “

FOOOOOOORESHADOWING TOUCHDOWN!

… Also, seriously, tied to the tracks? Is this guy Snidely fucking Whiplash?

“The moment the train hit him, I will never forget. Blood all over the persons in the train.”

And I’ll never forget how you said “persons” instead of “people”! Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday.

“Limbs flying everywhere.”

Including, like, sixteen different left legs, which was just weird.

“I cried and threw up.”

Detailed story telling? What’s that?

“The police came. I wanted to see my friend, but he was gone. Nothing left of him.”

Except for… you know, all those limbs.

“I walked towards the bus and got in. I sat there, crying, and the bus driver looked over his shoulder. A man with scars all over his face. With ice cold eyes. He grinned and said, “Was it soon enough?””

Gasp! You mean that the guy that we never heard about was actually the guy we know nothing about the whole time?! IT’S SO POINTLESSLY EXCITING!

So! That was “When A School Trip Goes Wrong”! How was it?

… Well, it wasn’t fucking creepy, I’ll say that much!

It was… just, you know, competent. It wasn’t descriptive, but it wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t too cliched, the twist was sorta okay- it was, in other words, incredibly boring and mediocre.

But enough about my sex life, what about the Creepypasta!

SHUT UP I AM HILARIOUS.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: