I Feel The Pressure To Be Good Enough For Omegle

14 Oct

I swear, I should just set up a fucking Patreon for this crap. “Donate 100 dollars a month, and you can pick the next title for the Omegle Post!”

Anyway. Makin’ fun of Omegle, let’s rock it.

Ahem!

why do white males have to oppress everything that’s different?

Because oppressing everything that’s the same is really boring.

have a sex convo

OH WE’VE GOT A GREAT SEX CONVO ROCKING THROUGH THE NIGHT OH WE’VE GOT A GREAT SEX CONVO AIN’T SHE A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT.

describe the best sex ever

Hmm. Do you know that one episode of Spongebob where he teaches a jellyfish how to dance?

[Editor’s Note: … Is that what sex is like?]

Not even remotely.

It’s wetter.

is it possible to rape a little boy so hard in his butt that he enters a catatonic state and sits and mumbles nonsense all day while his mind frolics in a delusional fantasy world free of pain

Ladies and gentlemen? I present to you a man trying WAY too hard.

Any ladies care to chat with an exotically elegant, excruciatingly enchanting, ferociously fabulous, catastrophically captivating and hellaciously handsome young hunk?

DOUCHINESS HAS REACHED CRITICAL MASS.

SHOOT TO KILL.

Wanna have sex?!

ONLY IF YOU PASS MY TRIAL OF INFINITE LASERS.

And then take me out for dinner.

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