HAPPY 1000TH POST!

21 Oct

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO OUR ONE THOUSANDTH FUCKING POST!

I… wait, are you serious? That’s… jesus, that’s a big number.

Um, ANYWAY! HIT THE MUSIC!

Okay, let’s get the nitty gritty out of the way first! Namely, it’s something of a tradition here that on anniversaries, I change something about our formatting, and so this time around, I’ve edited the “About” page! You know, removed all of the stuff that isn’t relevant any more. (Oh god, do you remember Freshly Riffed? The memories… I pissed so many people off…) Annnnd, far more importantly, I’ve added a side page where I’ll keep all of the video reviews!

Now. On to the sappy stuff.

A Very Strange Place has changed my life.

(… Wow, it sounds really fucking pansy-ass when I say it like that.)

I’ve been doing this for- I mean, come on?! 1000th posts?! THAT’S MORE THAN I’VE DONE ANYTHING EVER! I have spent so much time and energy in to creating something I could be so genuinely proud with, it’s just mind blowing. Possibly literally, I haven’t decided yet.

I’ve learned how to tell a joke, I’ve learned that most people can’t, I’ve learned that my writing style is angled more conversationally, with a tone like I’m just pickin’ up guys at a bar instead of any legitimate journalistic integrity, and that suits me just fine, I’ve learned what makes a good movie, and I’ve learned what just doesn’t. I’ve learned how much I despise bad writing, my own and others, I’ve learned all sorts of narrative and cinematic tricks- oh, and I’ve learned how to make dick jokes! Can’t forget about that part!

This site has been a constant for so long, if I can’t write for it, I start getting twitchy. I have, no joke, insisted on ending a vacation early before because I couldn’t stand being away from AVSP for so long. This degenerate motherfucker of a website has given me fans- well, mostly hate mail, but that’s good too, and hell- it even gave me money! I could be wrong, but I think I’m the only guy my age who got his first pay cheque from sex toys!

There’s a saying my mother used to use, and it always stuck with me; “We have to make a million terrible paintings before we can make one good one, so you’d better get started.” And that saying, if you strip away everything else- my love of reviewing, my enjoyment of making people laugh, my eventual hope of getting on That Guy With The Glasses by blackmailing Rob Walker- is the core of A Very Strange Place.

It started out as my millions of bad paintings.

And I think I’m finally starting to make a good one.

Stick around, you degenerate motherfuckers. This is where things get interesting.

[Editor’s Note: … Wow, that was so very poignant.]

Thank you! I worked hard on that speech!

[Editor’s Note: It showed! … Soooo your celebratory “1000th post” video review wasn’t uploading, huh.]

I STARTED UPLOADING IT TWELVE FUCKING HOURS AGO AND JUST BEFORE IT’S DOWN, FIVE MINUTES TO UPLOAD TIME, YOUTUBE COMPLETELY FUCKS ME UP THE EAR CANAL! “YOU CAN’T READ MY VIDEO FILE” MY ACHING ASS!

Advertisements

3 Responses to “HAPPY 1000TH POST!”

  1. Alexander Dunwall October 22, 2014 at 12:28 am #

    Congraaaaatulations on 1000th posts.
    To another thousand.

  2. Tim Hurley October 23, 2014 at 9:20 am #

    Happy !000th, man (and yeah, that ‘!’ in place of a ‘1’ is intentional)! Congrats on the truly massive achievement. And RIP *Freshly Riffed*; sure it pissed people off, but there were some real comedic gems to be had. 🙂

    • averystrangeplace October 23, 2014 at 8:15 pm #

      Aww, thank you, Mr. Hurley! Yeah, it’s pretty crazy, 1000 is like… all the numbers!
      And hmm, I wonder if I should bring it back one of these days…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: