Fear The Omeglezord!

26 Oct

… G- get it? Like… like, it sounds like a Power Rangers reference? Ev- even though I’ve never watched Power Rangers…

SHUT UP OKAY I’M MATURE AND NOW WE’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF OMEGLE.

Ahem!

Do you meow to your cat? Does it respond? How can you not have a cat? Everyone has a cat – asshole!

Insert tired joke about how cats represent the internet.

Favorite porn star?

Trash Humper Number Four!

The man had star power.

Can I be your daddy?

If you wanna be my daddy, first you gotta get with a heart attack and die in Montreal far away from your loved ones until we burn your body and put you in to a jar oh wait oh god this joke got weird fast ABORT QUICK ABORT THE JOKE-

My first girlfriend tried to kill herself in my bathroom. I’m just going to fap for the rest of my life.

… This is the second most awkward first date ever.

“That’s what the wine bottle is for. Fapping, I mean. I keep it in there. Anyway, want a mint?”

Is God real?

Nah, but cheese is!

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

The blood of the innocents have flowed through my hands.

The mountains are ground down to the roots of their shame.

God himself weeps at the sight of my sin.

And it’s still pretty tasty.

why do girls go to clubs and then complain when guys touch them

FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU.

THIS SEEMS FAIRLY OBVIOUS.

I MEAN.

COME ON.

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2 Responses to “Fear The Omeglezord!”

  1. Alexander Dunwall October 27, 2014 at 2:48 am #

    All hail the mighty Cheesus.

    • averystrangeplace October 27, 2014 at 8:01 am #

      I think I might actually go to church if that’s how it worked! “Eat of my body, it’s a smoky gouda.”

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