Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Five

2 Nov

*run across room*

*flip over obstacles*

*slide across floor*

*land in my reviewing chair*

I’M BACK IN THE SADDLE, BABY!

internet_campfire_tales

Previously, on BEN DrownedOur protagonist, Jadusable, has gotten his hands on a copy of Majora’s Mask from a creepy old man, and soon enough, everything starts going to hell, and it all has to do with the mysterious BEN…

Ahem!

“Post #2 (Sept. 8, 2010) I’m going to post what happened and link the video footage, but last night everything got too real for me. I think I’m done messing around with this.”

Oh, please tell me that last bit is a promise.

“I passed out pretty much immediately after making that thread. But last night, that Elegy of Emptiness statue, I had a dream about it”

If you’re going to say it’s a wet dream, I’m shutting this off now.

“I dreamed that it was following me in my dream, that I would be minding my own business when I’d feel my neck hairs stand up on end. I would turn around that thing… that horrible, lifeless statue would be staring with those empty eyes right at me, merely inches away.”

Insert joke about an evil teleporting statue here. Weeping Angel, SCP-173, they’re all good.

“In my dream I remember calling it Ben, and never before had I had a dream that I could remember so vividly. But the important thing is I did get some sleep, I suppose.”

Nice rose tinted glasses, Mr. Judassaramadingdong or whatever the fuck your name is.

“Today, putting off playing the game as long as I could, I drove back up to that neighborhood to see if the old man came back. As I expected, the car was still gone and no one was home. As I was walking back to my car, the man next door mowing the grass killed the power to his lawnmower and asked me if I was looking for someone.”

Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places…

“I told him that I was looking to talk to the old man that lived here, to which he told me what I already knew – he was moving. Trying a different avenue, I asked if the old man had any family or relatives I could talk to. I discovered that this old man had never been married, nor did he have any children or grandchildren through adoption.”

There… there is remarkably little here for me to joke about. Um. Nice weather we’re having, I guess?

“Starting to become worried, I asked one final question, one that I should have asked from the beginning – who was Ben?”

BABY DON’T HURT ME- DON’T HURT ME- NO MORE- wait, no, that’s what was Ben. Never mind, forget that ever happened.

DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO-

“The man’s expression turned grim and I learned that four doors down around eight years ago on April 23 – the man informed me that it was the same day as his anniversary, that’s how he knew the specific date – there was an accident with a young boy named Ben in the neighborhood.”

He got in one little fight and his mom got scared and said you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Termina…

“Shortly after his parents moved, and despite any further attempts to talk to the man to get more information, he wouldn’t divulge anything else.”

Gah, “divulge”. Screw people getting upset at the word “moist”, DIVULGE is the word we should all be getting fucking grossed out at!

“I went back and started playing again, I loaded up the game and immediately I jumped at the title screen where the mask flies by – the sound that played was not the normal “whoosh” sound, it was something much more higher pitched.”

… Whoosh?

… WHOOSH IS NOT SCARY.

“I pressed start, bracing for the worst, but just like two nights ago, the files “Your Turn” and “BEN” were displayed (truth be told I looked at the BEN file earlier, it seems to fluctuate between displaying the Owl Save and not).”

I really hope “Owl Save” is a real thing, because if not, I am driving back in time and punching everyone at Nintendo in the balls.

[Editor’s Note: What about the ladies?]

They get punched in the balls twice.

11 Responses to “Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Five”

  1. Alexander Dunwall November 3, 2014 at 3:03 am #

    Whoosh…
    Oh man, the table flipping nostalgia

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Six | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 3, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: You know, I wonder, do I have to spell BEN in all caps? Is that what his real name is? Because if so, […]

  2. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Seven | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 4, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Blah blah blah, scary cartridge, blah blah blah, boring ass ghost, etcetera […]

  3. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Eight | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 7, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Haunted video game cartridge versus the man too dumb to turn it off! TONIGHT, ON […]

  4. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Nine | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 8, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Either a game cartridge is possessed by the spirit of a dead child named BEN, or a gamer is slowly going […]

  5. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Ten | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 11, 2014

    […] I should pay somebody to make me a better logo. Erm, anyway! Previously, on BEN Drowned: All this spooky Zelda crap has made little Jadusable run wee wee wee, all the way home, so we’re […]

  6. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Eleven | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 13, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Jadusable has finally revealed that despite BEN’s… efforts to stop him? With magic? Anyway, he […]

  7. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Twelve | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 15, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: There were things that happened. Go read the other parts. Having to write these summaries day in and day […]

  8. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Thirteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 20, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Somehow, the haunted Majora’s Mask cartridge has managed to take control of Cleverbot! My god, if […]

  9. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fourteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 21, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Either Jadusable’s little choo-choo has gone around the bend, or BEN is controlling his mind from […]

  10. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fifteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 27, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Hmm. Actually, I think I made a charming infographic that could sum up what’s happened thus […]

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