Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Eight

7 Nov

*runs across floor*

*flip over obstacles*

*slide across floor*

I’M BAC-

*trip over dirty laundry*

*falls face first into the window sill*

*collapses into a pile of shame*

I’M STILL SICK OKAY BUT I’M STILL GOING TO DO THIS.

internet_campfire_tales

Previously, on BEN DrownedHaunted video game cartridge versus the man too dumb to turn it off! TONIGHT, ON WWE!

Ahem!

“Post #3 (Sept. 10, 2010) I know its early in the morning, I’ve stayed up all night, I can’t sleep, I don’t care if people see this, that’s not the point, I just want the word to get spread so I don’t suffer for nothing.”

 

That- wow, that right there, bam. You have just summarized every single review I’ve ever made. Hell, we could rename Trash Humpers that and we’d save everyone some time and trouble.

“I’ve lost the will to type about this, the less I dwell on this the better, I think the video just speaks for itself.”

Oh right, that reminds me! The segments stop going into the details about the haunted gaming at this point, and instead lets the videos speak for themselves. Which on the bright side, means that I have less boring crap to bother with! And on the other hand, now you have to actually watch a video. Those slave drivers.

… Oh, fuck me, it’s six minutes long. Okay, so if you don’t want to have to sit through it: HE PLAYS MAJORA’S MASK AND SPOOKY STUFF HAPPENS! There, just saved you a few minutes that you’d never get back.

“I did what you guys told me to do, I played the Elegy of Emptiness song at the first prompt by the game I was given, but I think that’s what the game or Ben (Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I’m even humoring the absurd idea that he exists in the game) wanted me to do.”

Yeah, that’s your problem, buddy. Everybody knows some good ol’ Ray Parker Jr. is the only thing to clear out ghosts.

“He’s following me now, not just in the game, he’s in my dreams.”

Second worst wet dream ever.

“I see him all the time, behind my back, just watching me.”

You are a special kind of crazy, huh, kid.

“I haven’t gone to any of my classes, I’ve stayed in my dorm room with the windows closed and the blinds shut – that way I know he can’t watch me.”

So, because you were scared that your copy of Majora’s Mask was spying on you… you locked yourself in the room with it.

GLaDOS, you wanna field that one?

Thank you!

“But he still gets me when I play, when I play he can still see me.”

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake… Man. BEN is just the worst Santa. Instead of coal, gives you Missingno.

“The game is scaring me now. It talked to me for the first time – not just using text that’s already in the game – it spoke to me. Talked to me. It referenced Ben. It talked to me.”

… Oh gee, look at my watch, it’s ‘you’re a fucking loony’ o’clock.

“I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what it wants. I never wanted this, I just want my old life back.”

Seriously, I’m not the only one confused by this, right? How did he lose his mind so quickly? It’s- it’s just a messed up game, dude. Chill the fuck out.

“Stuff like this doesn’t happen to people like me, I’m just a kid, not even old enough to drink yet.”

Wait, really? Damn, that means all the erotic slash fiction I just wrote is really awkward.

“It’s not fair, I want to go home, I want to see my parents again, I’m so far away from home here at this school, I just want to hug my mom again.”

… I’m starting to wonder just how much of this is ghosts, and how much of it is just this guy’s own mental breakdown.

“I just want to forget that statue’s horrible blank face. My original game file is back – just the way I left it before it was gone.”

Almost as though it was never gone to begin with…

Wow, actually, my whole “this guy was crazy to begin with” theory is starting to make a lot of sense.

“I don’t want to play anymore. I feel like something bad will happen if I don’t, but that’s impossible, it’s a video game – haunted or not it can’t hurt me, right?”

Which… kind of makes this bit way more disturbing, actually. It goes from “guy driven crazy by Skull Kid” to “guy trapped inside his own madness and compulsion to view a harmless and broken game cartridge as  his own personal hell”…

“Like seriously though, it can’t, right? That’s what I keep telling myself, but every time I think about it I’m not so sure.”

Oh thank god, part three is over. Or as I call it, the part where I make myself… really freakin’ depressed.

I’m baaaaaaack.

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7 Responses to “Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Eight”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Nine | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 8, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Either a game cartridge is possessed by the spirit of a dead child named BEN, or a gamer is slowly going insane and […]

  2. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Ten | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 11, 2014

    […] pay somebody to make me a better logo. Erm, anyway! Previously, on BEN Drowned: All this spooky Zelda crap has made little Jadusable run wee wee wee, all the way home, so we’re left in the […]

  3. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Eleven | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 13, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Jadusable has finally revealed that despite BEN’s… efforts to stop him? With magic? Anyway, he apparently had a secret […]

  4. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Twelve | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 15, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: There were things that happened. Go read the other parts. Having to write these summaries day in and day out is like my […]

  5. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Thirteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 20, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Somehow, the haunted Majora’s Mask cartridge has managed to take control of Cleverbot! My god, if it manages to nab Omegle too, […]

  6. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fourteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 21, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Either Jadusable’s little choo-choo has gone around the bend, or BEN is controlling his mind from inside his electronics. Um. […]

  7. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fifteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 27, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Hmm. Actually, I think I made a charming infographic that could sum up what’s happened thus […]

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