Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Nine

8 Nov

Thirteen, okay? We’re going to shoot for a thirteen part series, because if we get any fucking longer, we’re going to tent our khakis.

[Editor’s Note: … Was that a dick joke?]

IT’S BEEN A LONG DAY.

internet_campfire_tales

 

Previously, on BEN DrownedEither a game cartridge is possessed by the spirit of a dead child named BEN, or a gamer is slowly going insane and imagining a glitchy copy of Majora’s Mask is talking to him. You pick whichever is more interesting.

Ahem!

“Post #4 (Sept. 12, 2010) Let me just clear things up – I know you guys are worried but “jadusable” is okay.”

Um. Wait, what?

“He finished moving out today and he said he’s going back home, he’s just taking this semester off.”

Oh, okay! This is a different narrator now! One who is presumably less crazy!

“I’m not really sure what’s happened; I have a vague idea but you guys probably know more than I do.”

Well, if you wanted to know what was going on, why don’t you just read his blog posts?

Oh, right. Nobody reads blogs. Moving on.

“I’m “jadusable’s” roommate and obviously I knew something was wrong with him for a few days now. He stayed in his room all the time, fell out of contact with literally all of his friends, and I’m pretty sure he hadn’t been eating hardly anything, after the second day I couldn’t stay in there anymore, so I’ve been crashing at a buddy’s place, only coming in to my room to get stuff that I need.”

So, because he was hiding away and not making contact with anyone… you had to move away from him?

Either you’re very poorly written, or… something is off here.

“I tried talking to him several times but he would cut me off or keep the conversation brief when I asked him about his strange behavior, it like he was convinced something was hunting him.”

And so he decided to lock himself in the one room with the thing that is hunting him OKAY I’M NOT EVEN TELLING JOKES ANY MORE I’M JUST LISTING PLOT HOLES.

“Yesterday I came to grab my philosophy book and he approached me, looking awful, like horrible bags under his eyes. He handed me a flash drive and gave me specific instructions.”

‘This is my porn. You must throw it into the fires of Mount Do-Me…’

Actually, that’s a good point. There isn’t actual BEN Drowned porn, right-

 OH SWEET BUTTERY FUCK WHERE’S MY EYE BLEACH.

“He told me that he needs me to do one last favor for him – he finally explained to me what has been going on, gave me the account info to his YouTube account, and told me that he’s getting away from here, that it lured him to play it again instead of trying to change things and that he shouldn’t of done that, and to upload the footage and inform people what happened.”

And to write a Creepypasta so long that you could use it as a dildo if you wanted?

“I told him that he could do it himself and he got this wild look in his eye and told me that he is never looking at that game again, and that’s the last thing he said to me, he never even said bye when his parents came to pick him up. I never even got to meet his parents.”

Spoiler alert, his parents are secretly Link and Zelda.

“I honestly cant tell you what happened, when he spoke it was kind of hard to understand him and his fucked up appearance really distracted me.”

I swear to god, Pasta, if you make me reference Jeff The Killer, I will find a way to hurt you. I will print this off, all eleven thousand words, just so I could light it on fire.

“On the flash drive there was the footage of the game last night, a text document with his name and password for YouTube, and a third document called TheTruth.txt containing what he told me were “his notes” that he’d taken.”

‘And something called ‘Brighter Future’…”

“He told me that this meant everything to him that I follow his instructions exactly, normally I wouldn’t be so ‘to-the-letter’ for request over a fucking video game, but the way he spoke and the way he looked made me know this was really serious, and I’m going to honor that.”

… Do these guys ever go to class?

“I’ve had this video since yesterday, but had to have someone help me use pinnacle, that’s not really my forte.”

Pinnacle?! Pssh, I’ll stick with real video editing software, like Adobe Premier Pro CC, thank you very much!

[Editor’s Note: Great, you just hit pretension Nirvana.]

I think I just snobgasmed.

“That after watching it I had to go back through and look at his other videos on his YouTube account to realize what was going on and even then I’m really really confused.”

At least you’re not this bored.

“The video I’m releasing tonight, TheTruth.txt will be released on September 15 just like he requested. I haven’t dared peek at it yet, so the first time I see it will be the first time you see it out of respect to my friend. To answer your questions, no, I haven’t tried calling him yet, I think I’ll give him a call tomorrow to see if hes okay or not. He should have gotten back home by now.”

If my review of The Rake taught me anything, he’ll have somehow crashed his car into a lake in the intervening time.

“I AM BAD AT THINGS.”

 

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6 Responses to “Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Nine”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Ten | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 11, 2014

    […] somebody to make me a better logo. Erm, anyway! Previously, on BEN Drowned: All this spooky Zelda crap has made little Jadusable run wee wee wee, all the way home, so we’re left in the mysterious […]

  2. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Eleven | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 13, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Jadusable has finally revealed that despite BEN’s… efforts to stop him? With magic? Anyway, he apparently had a secret […]

  3. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Twelve | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 15, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: There were things that happened. Go read the other parts. Having to write these summaries day in and day out is like my own […]

  4. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Thirteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 20, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Somehow, the haunted Majora’s Mask cartridge has managed to take control of Cleverbot! My god, if it manages to nab Omegle too, […]

  5. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fourteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 21, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Either Jadusable’s little choo-choo has gone around the bend, or BEN is controlling his mind from inside his electronics. Um. […]

  6. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fifteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 27, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Hmm. Actually, I think I made a charming infographic that could sum up what’s happened thus […]

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