Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Ten

11 Nov

… Anybody else want to finish this review?

Anybody?

Well, fuck you too!

internet_campfire_tales… I should pay somebody to make me a better logo. Erm, anyway! Previously, on BEN DrownedAll this spooky Zelda crap has made little Jadusable run wee wee wee, all the way home, so we’re left in the mysterious hands of his roommate or may or may not actually exist, and also wow, that is a lot of blue words. I feel very Derek Jarman.

Ahem!

“About the video: in this video I cut straight to when he loaded the “BEN” file in the game, looking back I realized that jadusable left the save select screen in because it said different names sometimes, so my bad for that, but all it said this time was the same at the end of his last video (Link and BEN), nothing different.”

Oh, right, there’s another video. Here you go, have a ball. Tell me how it goes, I’m not in the mood to run through another episode of “I’m Having Fun With A Copy Of Adobe Premier- What’s That, I’m Supposed To Be Scary?”.

“I wasn’t there when he played it, but it looks to me like in the beginning when he first spawns he’s testing out his equipment or seeing what items he has or something, because apparently they’ve changed randomly before. Then, after that I just think the game got too personal for him.”

“Too personal”? What, did the game send him  a dick pic or something?

“Post #5 (Sept. 15, 2010) Hey, guys. “Jadusable” here. This will be the last time you will be hearing from me, and this is my final gift to you – these are the notes that I have taken and the realizations I’ve made.”

So, I guess this is Jadusable again, so we’re not talking to the mysterious roommate? Who I’m still betting five bucks is going to turn out to be a hallucination or Bruce Willis or some crap?

“Before I delve into this, I want to thank you for following me and thank you for listening, it feels like the weight of a powerful burden is about to be lifted.”

The first person to make a “do you even lift” joke is going to get anally ‘motivated’ by a Mack truck.

“Ladies.”

“By the time you read this I won’t be around anymore, but after spending four days with this maddening game, I have begun to understand what’s really at play here and hopefully after reading this we can ensure that this never happens again.”

… I’m willing to bet turning the game off has still never occurred to him.

“There are things that I could not share with you while this was going on due to the circumstances to which I’ll explain. With Ben blocking any attempt I made to try and relay the truth to you, I tried, ever so subtly, to warn you guys in various ways.”

Wait… “blocking any attempt to try and relay the truth to you”?

He let you WRITE A BLOG.

“Amidst the chaos and my delirium, I devised a make a barely noticeable pattern in my videos.”

Yeah, and then you devised make a weird-ass spelling mistake?

[Editor’s Note: Are YOU, of all people, making fun of other people’s spelling mistake?]

It’s the naked and erect leading the blind, etcetera, etcetera, fuck you.

“In all five videos I recorded over the four days, I have either had the Mask of Truth, interacted with a Gossip Stone, or the Lens of Truth equipped at some point. For you Zelda enthusiasts these are all symbols of honesty and trustworthiness and I would hope that one of you may have picked up on the reference.”

It’s like a… mildly worse version of The DaVinci Code? 

“As I played the file which I would name “BEN”, being mindful of how Ben was watching over my every move in the game, I made a point to avoid doing anything too obvious, but I sent out a hidden message to you guys – I never equipped the Lens nor the Mask nor visited a stone.”

I’m going to assume somebody out there knows what the balls he’s talking about, because as far as I’m concerned, he might as well be freestyle rapping for all the sense he’s making.

This is a story all about how my game got flipped turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute while BEN gets drowned, and tell you how I became the soulless mind controlled shell of my former self wait oh god this joke got sad.”

 

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5 Responses to “Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Ten”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Eleven | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 13, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Jadusable has finally revealed that despite BEN’s… efforts to stop him? With magic? Anyway, he apparently had a secret message. […]

  2. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Twelve | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 15, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: There were things that happened. Go read the other parts. Having to write these summaries day in and day out is like my own personal […]

  3. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Thirteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 20, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Somehow, the haunted Majora’s Mask cartridge has managed to take control of Cleverbot! My god, if it manages to nab Omegle too, I’ll be […]

  4. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fourteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 21, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Either Jadusable’s little choo-choo has gone around the bend, or BEN is controlling his mind from inside his electronics. Um. […]

  5. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fifteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 27, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Hmm. Actually, I think I made a charming infographic that could sum up what’s happened thus […]

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