Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Twelve

15 Nov

… One of these days, I might get to review The SCP Foundation.

I am really looking forward to that.

internet_campfire_tales

 

Previously, on BEN DrownedThere were things that happened. Go read the other parts. Having to write these summaries day in and day out is like my own personal Groundhog Day loop.

Ahem!

“3:46pm – Could’ve sworn driving back from Subway that I saw the Elegy statue buried in some shrubbery staring at me go by. Now I definitely, definitely need sleep.”

What.

WHAT?! You saw the terrifying Lovecraftian nightmare statue in real life?! That’s not a “I definitely need sleep” moment, that’s a “round up the villagers and fetch some fucking pitchforks and torches” moment!

“5:00pm – Don’t think a lot of people would believe me if I told them about what’s happening, think I’m going to try posting this on the internet. Think I’ll just use the summary, these notes are pretty sporadic.”

Annnnd you never thought to mention seeing the Elegy statue in real life in your summary?! Isn’t that a tad more important than “I have a copy of Majora’s Mask that’s made some serious mistakes in life”?!

“6:00pm – Connected my capture card to my computer to upload the footage. Thought my computer froze for a second, made this strange popping sound when I hooked everything up, but now it seems to be working fine again. My computer can’t die on me now.”

Well. Isn’t that ominous.

“7:00pm – Footage is finished uploading. The quality’s a lot better than I thought it would be, gee, guess this is a really special cartridge, I’ve never had it come through this clear before.”

You’re really not picking up on the whole “this is clearly possessed” thing, are you? I bet if it was you in Amityville 4, you would have taken about six more sequels before you finally realized it was the lamp.

… Don’t ask.

“8:45pm – Thought I saw an icon pop up on my desktop that looked like the statue’s face for a split second, gave me quite a scare. Getting really unnerved and delirious, I’m going to crash after this.”

I love how this is basically just describing your basic Imscared playthrough.

“9:00pm – Begin uploading my YouTube video on an alternate account.”

And of course, like every YouTube video, it takes about 16 hours before it gets close to finishing then it crashes and forces you to start the upload and then you can’t post up your 1000th post on time and YES I AM STILL BITTER OVER THAT.

“9:03pm – I don’t remember having uploaded a Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines video last year. This was probably the account that I shared with a friend of mine last summer, I hope he doesn’t mind me using it to upload this.”

If this is going to turn in to a Marik Plays Bloodlines crossover, I’m giving this Creepypasta five stars.

“9:55pm – Posting my summary of Day Four with a link to the YouTube video. Going to try to stay awake but I am sooooo tired right now.”

I suppose that means that should post a link to the YouTube video- hah hah hah, just fucking with you! Me, making things mildly convenient for people? You’ve got a lot to learn!

“September 8, 2010 10:48am – I had a dream about the statue. I dreamed that it was following me in my dream, that I would be minding my own business when I’d feel my neck hairs stand up on end. I would turn around that thing… that horrible, lifeless statue would be staring with those empty eyes right at me, merely inches away.”

Yeeeeah, I think we’ve all had that dream.

“In my dream I remember calling it Ben, power of suggestion most likely, and never before had I had a dream that I could remember so vividly.”

You have the weirdest wet dreams.

Say what you want, but it has great teeth.

“11:21am – I really don’t want to play this game again. I think I’m going to go back to see if that old man’s there instead.”

*cue romantic string section*

“1:35pm – No old man, but I had an interesting conversation with his neighbor. I’ll post the full thing with my summary of tonight’s attempt at playing the game, going to wait for a bit though and see if I can’t dig up any information on this Ben guy.”

MY HUNT FOR BEN AFFLECK IS NEVER ENDING.

“2:45pm – I’ve been getting random, inexplicable headaches due to the lack of sleep and keep hearing that song in my head. Also its flu season, so I need to be careful not to get sick, my immune system is going to be shit right now because of that all-nighter.”

Pssh, and you call yourself a college student! Where I’m from, you’re not even allowed into college if you can’t make it an entire week with no sleep, and enough energy drinks so you can see through time.

“3:00pm –”

… I think the writer is glitching out. Somebody wanna find his hard reset button and a paper clip?

“3:02pm – My computer just… on its own… opened up a text document and wrote the words “Hi” and “www.cleverbot.com” by itself. What… the… fuck…”

Again, did this game inspire Imscared or what?

I didn’t mean to do that.

“3:46pm – I went to the website, its one of those “bot chatting” programs. I think its best if I just let the conversation speak for itself:”

Get it, get it? “Speak for itself”? Eh, eh?

FUCK YOU IT’S FUNNY.

9/8/10 Conversation

User: Hello?

Cleverbot: Hello.”

I JUST CAME TO SAY HELLO!

If that doesn’t get in your head, you’re a better man/woman than I.

“User: Who is this and how are you able to control my computer?

Cleverbot: Who am I?

User: Right, forgot. You’re a bot.”

Hey, that’s racist! Er. Bot-ist. Racist against robots- look, you’re a dick, is my point.

“Cleverbot: Do you really think that?

User: Listen, I know whoever’s fucking with my computer can see my screen right now.

Cleverbot: Yes.”

“And I didn’t even know there was that much porn. Seriously, dude, what the fuck? Triple fisting?!”

“User: Yeah, and I’ll wager that youre one of those IT kids who thinks he’s tough shit. You know what you’re doing right now is illegal, right/?

Cleverbot: Is it?

User: No shit. Are you familiar with hte terms “invasion of privacy?”. Get the fuck off my computer, kid

Cleverbot: I am your computer.

User: Cool story. Anyway, I’m calling DPS, you picked a bad time to fuck with me kid.”

Eh, I ship it.

“Cleverbot: Should I wait until you play the game then?

User: …What?

Cleverbot: That game.

“The game with the power!”

“What power?”

“The power of drowning.”

“Who drowned?”

“BEN drowned!”

“Drowned where?”

“Drownin’ in the game! I saw my baby, drowning hard as he could drown…”

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3 Responses to “Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Twelve”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Thirteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 20, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Somehow, the haunted Majora’s Mask cartridge has managed to take control of Cleverbot! My god, if it manages to nab Omegle too, I’ll be out of a […]

  2. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fourteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 21, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Either Jadusable’s little choo-choo has gone around the bend, or BEN is controlling his mind from inside his electronics. Um. […]

  3. Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fifteen | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - November 27, 2014

    […] on BEN Drowned: Hmm. Actually, I think I made a charming infographic that could sum up what’s happened thus […]

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