Internet Campfire Tales: BEN Drowned, A Creepypasta Review, Part Fifteen

27 Nov

That’s right, it’s time to finish off our slow-motion suicide! WELCOME TO INTERNET CAMPFIRE TALES, WHERE BEN IS JUST GONNA KEEP ON DROWNIN’!

internet_campfire_tales

Previously, on BEN DrownedHmm. Actually, I think I made a charming infographic that could sum up what’s happened thus far.

let's drown ben

There we go!

Ahem!

“11:55am – There’s an entire video summary of a video that I don’t remember doing. Reading through the summary, this sounds morbid – resembling my dream from two nights ago except on a far more sadistic scale – these Moon Children, there’s something more to them, almost as if they’re another entity from Ben.”

Wow, nice blatant sequel set-up. Hah hah, I’m just kidding, there isn’t a BEN Drowned sequel!

Right?

T- there’s nothing after this story, right?

WHY DO I KEEP EXPECTING YOU PEOPLE TO RESPOND.

“Something happened last night that I can’t remember. “

Considering what’s happened the rest of the story, I have a feeling we could guess.

hey hey

Yeah, that sounds about right.

“I’m posting the fourth summary to the forums now. Shadow of my chair moved.”

What a… pointless detail to include. “And then I microwaved a Hot Pocket… but it beeped two seconds before the timer finished!”

“12:00pm – Ben won’t let me visit YouTube. I can browse the rest of the sites, but he keeps on exiting the window when I go to YouTube. Why?”

Oh god, please tell me you visited some kind of porn site, I would pay so much money to see BEN have to react to porn.

jeff

“2:02pm – I’m feeling the air start to constrict, I don’t think I’m alone here. Whatever “aura” has been here is getting more violent.”

Man, when MY air starts to constrict, it’s usually a sign that a date is going really well.

“2:44pm – I’m trying to contact Ben on Cleverbot, he’s not responding. I just get the AI.”

Aww, lover’s spat.

“3:51pm – My ears aren’t fooling me, I’m hearing the reverse Song of Healing. I keep hearing it.”

Either that or you’re an extra strength bag of crazy!

“4:23pm – Now I’m positive of it, earlier I thought it was a weird coincidence, but just now I went to open my window, and three floors down at ground level I saw the old man.”

Oh, right, there’s an old man in this story! At the length this is taking, I’m surprised he hasn’t keeled over from old age.

“I’m completely positive I did. The same guy. He was just staring up at my window, standing in the middle of campus. If any students took notice of him they didn’t seem to acknowledge it.”

That’s not a supernatural thing, that’s just something old people do.

“That’s where my notes end. I fled my room, taking the cartridge with me. I don’t want to go into details of what happened, I’ll lose my train of thought as I hammer out these last details.”

Why do I have the feeling “don’t want to go into details” was taken as a dare?

“It’s been roughly two days since then. This is my last summary and service to you, of the final video you guys saw – Matt.wmv.”

Actually, THIS was the last video I saw.

But I’m sure that’s just as good.

“The last video entry I made, Matt.wmv, began as normal. I was spawned in Clock Town as usual and nothing seemed to be out of place, determined to set things right and play the Oath to Order ontop of the Clock Tower on the 4th day, I prepared myself.”

Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no no. We’re back at the stupid summary bits?! EVERYONE EVACUATE! WOMEN AND CRITIC’S FIRST!

“I sped up time and got to the final day, making my way to the observatory. As I got up to the telescope room and approached the astromer, he would not let me look into his telescope.”

Well, obviously, you’ve got to take a boy out for a few drinks before he’ll let you look into his telescope.

“He told me that it would be cheating and that I should follow the rules. Despite my repeated efforts, the game would not let me do the 4th day glitch, no matter how hard or what I tried, I tried working around the game and doing the glitch, but it was adament this time.”

Oh, great, BEN’s throwing a tantrum. OUR ANTAGONIST, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

this problem

“Regardless of if I simply had the illusion of free will in prior games, this time the game became more aggressive than anything I’ve ever seen. It eventually told me to go to Ikana Canyon, where the game would end and it would stop haunting me, anxious and desperate to end this nightmare I played the song of soaring and ended up there.”

This is the worst treasure hunt ever.

“I was told to check my inventory, that I would find the answers there to end the game. I arrived at Ikana Canyon and saved my progress at the owl statue. As I searched through my inventory, I finally noticed that I was missing a reoccurring song – the Elegy of Emptiness.”

I swear to god, if you summon that thing, I will bake cupcakes with your skull.

[Editor’s Note: … What does that even mean?]

It means something that I can’t say in polite company. It also means that I will bake cupcakes with his skull.

“Obviously once I traveled there and learned the song, I suppose that was the last thing it needed before BEN decided it had had enough fun playing with me. Ben is a manipulator; he tries to fool his victims into security and makes you drop your guard like a venus fly trap, he ensares them. I am nothing but a puppet to him, he enjoys seeing what kind of human emotions he can tap into by doing different things.”

Just… just leave. Seriously, dude. Just… leave. It’s tied to the cartridge and your computer, so just… just leave. Come on. I am begging you. This is the only eldritch horror that could be destroyed by waving a magnet in his general direction.

“NO SHUT UP I AM FEARSOME.”

“There are still some things about this whole experience that still don’ t make sense, but then again I never was good at figuring out these things and I’m not exactly in the right state of mind to, I’m giving you all the pieces of the puzzle for you to analyze and piece together the missing links.”

Oh, fuck me, there’s going to be test?!

“I am typing these “closing thoughts” on the library computer on campus, and I’ve emailed myself the notes I have stored on my “infected” computer from the last four days.”

WAIT.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.

I WAS JUST BEING SNARKY.

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME.

THAT THIS ENTIRE PROBLEM COULD HAVE BEEN SOLVED BY JUST USING DIFFERENT ELECTRONICS.

I DON’T EVEN-

THAT’S JUST SO-

ARGH!

“I’m then going to combine those copy/paste those notes with the “closing/openings” that I’ve typed here on the safe, public computer into one text document – I’m not taking any chances spreading Ben, I would not wish this horrible torment on anyone and I’ve made sure to have my bases covered here.”

Ouch. Harsh burns, dude. Somewhere, BEN cries a single, bloody tear.

“I didn’t run into any problems with Ben when I was back on my computer trying to email myself the notes – went right under his fucking nose. He has no idea what he just let me do. Had no problems opening the txt document from my “infected” computer in my email, either.”

Every time he says “infected”, I imagine somebody slipping a condom around a computer.

“I can’t describe to you how it feels to finally be able to get the word out in this post. The nightmare ends here.”

*sequel looms over my shoulders*

OH FUCK OFF YOU.

“That said, do not download ANY of my videos or anything ABOUT my videos – through a Youtube video/audio ripper, a screengrab, whatever.”

… Be right back, going to go screengrab this story while I cackle maniacally.

you shouldn't have done that

 

SOME MEN JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN.

“I don’t know how he can spread, but I know that just watching them on youtube/reading my text won’t be able to allow him to spread, otherwise he wouldn’t have needed my help in the first place, but I STRONGLY recommend you do not take anything you see streaming online onto your own personal computer.”

Man, BEN is going to hate it on my computer. He’s going to be all, “You shouldn’t have- wow, that is a lot of porn. And- have you ever cleaned your desktop?!”.

“This will be my last posting, I’m putting up on this forum here for the world. If you see any further posts from me, after today’s current date – September 12 – and after the current time – 12:08am – DISCREDIT them.”

Don’t worry, I’ve discredited every single thing you’ve said, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

“It already has proven to me that Ben can access my account/password and manipulate my computer, and like I said I have no idea to what extent it can do this, but know that it will do anything to break free. He is desperate. To ensure your safety, just forget about me. Please.”

CAN DO!

“And obviously this goes without saying, but from here on out do not download ANY images I may have put up, any files, any ANYTHING.”

Yeah, yeah, blah blah, “you could be next”, we get it. Mind wrappin’ this up?

“This fifth day will be my last day, I’m going to burn the cartridge and then come back to destroy my laptop.”

YES! YES, YES, YES! YESITY FUCKING YES! YOU HAVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT THE OBVIOUS FUCKING SOLUTION! YOU WIN THE WORLD AWARD FOR FINALLY FIGURING OUT THE FUCKING OBVIOUS! 

“Again, even though I don’t even know you this is sort of bittersweet for me. This semester I really didn’t have any friends, or rather, I stopped paying attention to them.”

Whoa, everything got auto-biographical all of a sudden.

“But I suppose that’s partially to blame because I am the genius who picked to live in a single, I suppose someone to get ahold of me and save me before I got too immersed into this game would have literally saved my life.”

Well, obviously! That would have been a way better-

Wait.

A… single?

Didn’t you have a roommate?

I FUCKING CALLED IT!

“However, it proved too much for me, I’m just glad it happened to me and I could get the warning out so that Ben dies here.”

*sequel hums angrily*

Oh, I swear to god, I will shut you up.

“Lastly, thank you for taking the time to open this and open yourselves up to me by hearing my story, despite maybe not believing me.”

You mean “definitely”, we’re definitely not believing you.

“You didn’t have to do that – really, you shouldn’t have. Your support this entire time has kept me going and now I am finally free of this. Thanks Again, Jadusable.”

Well, at least it has a happy ending!

“…You shouldn’t have done that, Matt. You shouldn’t have done that….”

… Um. Well, that’s… yeah.

happy ending

SO! Finally, finally, FINALLY, we are done BEN FUCKING DROWNED! How was it?

… LONG!

BEN Drowned definitely has sheer length on it’s size, so if you’re a size queen, well, this is definitely for you. It’s definitely believable, and has a certain atmosphere that’s definitely appealing. If you have a few months, sit down, give it a read! It’s definitely the best video gaming Creepypasta I’ve ever read, even despite my bitching. But what let’s it down is how… well, low the stakes are! The story tries it’s best, but at the end of the day, it’s still just an old video game! Hell, we already know his weakness, just drown the whiny fucker!

Actually, that gives me an idea…

wouldn't dare

*whistles innocently*

nooooo

HAND ME THE HOSE!

diiiiick

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: