it’s gonna be the future soon

8 Mar

P- p- p- p- p- preview for upcoming video review! Hit it! … I say to myself, because there’s nobody else here to hit anything.

“Why does everyone find VHS’s so evil? I mean, any time you see an evil video tape, it’s always on VHS! Where’s the evil Blu-Rays? Where’s the malevolent USBs? Where’s the satanic fucking laser discs?”

“- aaaaaaand there we go, I’m insane now, thanks for that.”

“… You think some directors have problems with women?”

“… Because according to his IMDB page, the creator of this has done jack-all, with a side order order of jack-shit, and presumably spent his entire career jacking off.”

“How… how can you even do that?! That’s so horrifically outdated, that’s actually looped all the way around to being impressive again! That’s like if you invented a fucking praxinoscope with surround sound!”

“Pssh, you’ve only broken a wrist? Come back to me when you’ve broken a man’s bone.”

“I’d feel offended if it wasn’t stupid as fuck.”

“Oh, goodie. And here I was, thinking I wasn’t going to get any productive hatred in today.”


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