Internet Campfire Tales: Three Customers, A Creepypasta Review

2 Apr

In a perfect world, I’d have time to contact the author’s of each Pasta before reviewing them! But alas, such is the curse of somebody who doesn’t care.

internet_campfire_tales

We’re sticking with a nice and short Pasta today, by the name of Three Customers! I don’t mean to spoil anything, but there might be three customers in it! (Hardhitting journalism, for sure.)

Ahem!

“A taxi driver was driving in Coldwater when he saw three girls standing by the road with their hands raised.”

Wait, is Coldwater a real town?!

*googlegooglegoogle*

Holy hell, I need to live there. That place sounds like it comes pre-haunted.

Customers!

‘Possibly three of them, even!’

“The taxi driver thought, and stopped his car to pick them up.”

Wait, a taxi driver actually stopping to pick people up?! SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF: GONE.

“”Where are you off to?” the taxi driver asked.”

Ooooh, so wish I knew enough about the movie Taxi Driver to reference it.

“They answered that one of the girls had a stomach ache and wanted to be taken to the hospital. The taxi driver glanced at the girl in question and noted that the girl certainly looked very pale and seemed to be in great pain.”

And also had a chest-burster doing it’s thing, but he thought that that was just a new fashion.

“It was an emergency for certain, and he decided to take them to the Denborough hospital; the closest to where they were and also the most famous hospital in the area.”

Which is apparently not a real hospital. We’re batting one for two, people.

“When they arrived at the hospital, one of the girls said, “We would like to stay with her, so if you don’t mind, could you please go inside and get someone?””

Oh, yes, you obviously have to stay with her. I mean, it’s not like she’ll ever have to leave the taxi for medical attention, right?

… Wait, what.

“The taxi driver agreed to their request, and went to the hospital’s front desk. There, he told the nurse what had happened and asked her if she could go have a look at the patient in the car. The nurse gave an “Okay” and went to the car park, leaving the taxi driver at the front desk.”

Wow, this is the most laid-back hospital ever. They put the “medical” in “medical marijuana”.

“Some minutes later, the nurse came back to the front desk, ashen-faced.”

She became Ash Ketchum?! That’s terrible!

“”What did you do that for?!” she asked.”

Seeing as we’re about to learn what she’s talking about, she is way too fucking calm for this.

“The taxi driver had no idea what she meant.”

And instead of asking her, he decided to… I dunno, play a game of fucking Charades or something.

“”Why did you do it?!” said the nurse again. “Why do you have dead bodies in your car?!!””

Wait, dead bodies? Plural? Huh, I wonder what that could mean. That could be an interesting cliffhang-

“According to the nurse, a few days ago, some college girls met an accident while driving in the area. They were brought to the hospital but in spite of all efforts to save them, they all passed away. Their bodies had been placed in the mortuary. But the bodies in the taxi and the bodies of the college girls were unmistakably one and the same.”

-er. The… the end of that sentence was ‘er’- wait, did you seriously just explain the plot twist?! If you have to explain the joke, there is no joke!

… Um. By joke, I mean “corpses”. Same thing.

“”What were you trying to do, steal the bodies from our hospital?””

And then… give them back? It’s not like a ‘take a penny, leave a penny’ thing, asshole!

“The nurse pressed him for an answer, but the taxi driver stated that when he picked the girls up, they appeared to be just fine.”

Except for the one with the chest-burster. What, forget about that part? Anyway, that was Three Customers! How was it?

Not too bad, actually.

I mean, it wasn’t too terribly well written, and it could have ended a few paragraphs earlier, but the concept was good, and it was nice and simple!

Just like me!

… Wait.

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