Internet Campfire Tales: The Dawn Is Your Enemy, A Creepypasta Review

21 Apr

Any Cartoon Network fans in the audience? Well, if not, I’m going to have to go hunting you people down with a net, because without you guys, this one really doesn’t make any sense.

internet_campfire_tales

Yes, welcome back to Internet Campfire Tales, to yet another Lost Episode tale! But with this one, The Dawn Is Your Enemy, we’re taking that term a bit loosely, as it’s a… Lost Commercial Bumper. Look, don’t ask.

Ahem!

“Trying to look up background info on the bump, so I guess I will polish it later.”

Oh, well, that’s a good fucking sign, when your Pasta admits that it’s only half-done.

“You guys all know that Adult Swim sign-off bumper “THE DAWN IS YOUR ENEMY”? There’s a reason they don’t show it anymore.”

Because the vampires started complaining?

“The last day the bump was used as a sign-off, instead of a normal running time of (estimated) nine seconds, it ran for an extended period of time until the automated services were overtaken by manual operation.”

And because a pizza delivery boy spilled beer on the machines, cutting the signal off, irritating the Omicronians.

“We all know the sound that shook our childhoods (or teen years). The resonating metal, the rumbles, the sound of metal scraping against metal. Feel free to look it up if you’re a bit rusty.”

Um. About that. I… I… okay, never mind, I’ll tell you later. I’ll save that as a treat for the end.

“Now, when the audio cut, it doesn’t sound complete, it’s not finished, not over. The producers of AS/CN were purposely cutting off the rest of the sound, and for good reason.”

The rest of it was Turn Down For What, wasn’t it.

“The rest that followed was the exact reason why you’ll never see this bumper again on the air.”

Bumper?! I just met ‘er!

… Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the first joke I wrote for this review.

“Once again, it’s supposedly only run for about nine seconds, and this is a rough transcript of the usual audio: Resonating metal, followed by a rumble, followed by scraping metal, and other rumble. End bumper.”

Gosh, you’re a poet.

“So what could you put together with that? Nothing rings a bell, right?

Well, I-

“Exactly.”

Hey, I never answered! That’s entrapment!

“This part that they used is utilized effectively to scare off children that have still tuned in to Adult Swim. It even gives adults goose bumps because it’s that good. It’s closely rivaled with the hammer clinks in the “William Street” production card in nightmare fuel.”

Oh, please. William Street can’t be that scary-

Welp. Time to call up my nightmares, tell them to find something else to do for the next months, seeing as I’m never sleeping again.

“Getting back on topic, usually a Cartoon Network employee would enter the control room left by an Adult Swim crew member and take over for a day. It wasn’t quite the case that day, however.”

Presumably because the Cartoon Network and Adult Swim guys had both fallen madly in love, and were screwing in the production booth.

“The usual man schedule to cue the sign-on and such programming for CN for some reason did not start up the day schedule. No one knows if he did this purposely, and whether or not his contract was terminated.”

Just bangin’ away. Right there on the floor. It was pretty hot, too.

“This was the least of problems CN had at the time. What followed the common nine-seconds was an extended two-minute broadcast of some of the most horrifying audio ever heard on public television.”

Yeah, that’s because they accidentally left the mic on.

“The metal continued to resonate, and the scraping continued. Slowly, an uncontrollable sobbing came clearer. Not one person was crying, but a multitude of people were screaming and yelling.”

But on the bright side, it’s not Ben 10.

“As the metal scraped, the screaming grew louder. Soon, you could hear the slicing of flesh, the grinding of bones, the gushing of blood, and the guttural death rattles of people dying.”

The controversial season finale to Harvey Birdman continues.

“All across the United States, millions of children and adults were being exposed to what sounded like a barbaric mass murder. People were calling in all across the country, crying or screaming or begging for it to be turned off. Something kept their eyes attached to the screen and kept them listening to the broadcast.”

The same cannot be said for the poor people who watch the Annoying Orange series.

“People assume the control room was finally gotten into, and the bump was shut down, ending a traumatic experience no one could undoubtedly forget. In the last few moments as the resonating metal grew into an unbearable volume, the channel showed the peeking sun winking at the viewer, and the channel cut to Bars and Tones.”

Annnnnnnd I’m out of Cartoon Network jokes. Um. Any chance some Teletoon humour will work?

“How was Cartoon Network going to cover this up? No one knows their exact tactic to this day. Multiple theories have been thought of, ranging from a pre-emptive “cease and desist” to possible news articles to subliminal viewer hypnosis over the following weeks.”

Oh, yes, that’s the obvious answer. “Sir, we broadcast something strange-” “MIND CONTROL DANG IT.”

“While all public evidence does not officially exist, Cartoon Network officials do acknowledge a hijacking of the channel’s frequency on the day but go into no further detail. All late morning bumps, including TDIYE, were replaced with the corresponding ones from the 1:30 AM timeslot. Word is, however, that somewhere hidden in an onion site (accessible only via Tor) is a recording of the bump played that morning.”

I should go and find that cli- wait! I seem to have stopped caring!

“The question asked the most among the few who remember this is how Cartoon Network got the audio in the first place.”

Aliens, Satan, or audio-remixer Jesus. Take your pick.

So, that was The Dawn Is Your Enemy! How was it?

Well, that depends entirely on whether or not it’s real.

No, seriously. Not the whole demony part, obviously, but was there ever really a commercial bumper like this? I’ve found a version of it posted saying that they made it themselves, and the whole story is fake. Annnnnnd then the comment section is filled with people remincsing about it. Hell- I found another one, with a whole different crowd remembering it, and nobody saying it’s fake! I’ve found Cartoon Network forums saying it’s fake, but I’ve also found commercial bumper forums talking about it with complete sincerity!

Well, no matter the truth, I think we can agree on this much: That video is creepy as fuck.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: