Internet Campfire Tales: Abandoned By Disney, A Creepypasta Review, Part Two

12 May

I have been informed that sadly, Abandoned By Disney is not canon with Kingdom Hearts. And even worse, apparently there is not a Creepypasta themed amusement park! What a shame. You know they’d have the best Haunted Mansion in the business.

internet_campfire_tales

Previously, on Abandoned By Disney: Oh, I’m actually justified to have a ‘previously on segment’. How delightfully gauche. Anywho, we’re about halfway through a Disney theme park history lesson. Please take notes, there’s a test later.

Ahem!

“Then there was the concept art. A group of stuffed shirts from Disney Co. actually held a city meeting. They intended to sell everyone on how lucrative this project was going to be for everyone.”

Wait, somebody from the city agreed to the meeting? As in, they actually did something?! WHAT NEW SPORE OF MADNESS IS THIS.

“When they showed the concept art, this gigantic Indian Palace… surrounded by JUNGLE… staffed with men and women in loincloths and tribal gear… well, suffice to say everyone flipped their shit.”

Literally. It was kind of impressive to watch, really.

“We’re talking about a large Indian Palace, Jungle, and Loincloths not only in the center of a relatively wealth area, but also a somewhat “xenophobic” area of the southern USA. It was a questionable mix at that point in history.”

And the Loincloths part was so racist, it justified being capitalized. Apparently.

“One member of the crowd tried to storm the stage, but he was quickly subdued by security after he managed to break one of the presentation boards over his knee.”

He’s not a part of your system, MAAAAAAaaaaaan- oh, damn, a Lonely Island reference. That’s a flag and a fifteen yard penalty.

“Disney took that community and essentially broke it over its knee, as well. The houses were razed, the land was cleared, and there wasn’t a damned thing anyone could do or say about it. Local TV and Newspapers were against the resort at the beginning, but some insane connection between Disney’s media holdings and the local venues came into play and their opinions turned on a dime.”

Walt Disney’s army of Yeerks comes in handy once again!

It’s a small Yeerk, after all…

“So anyway, Treasure Island, the Bahamas. Disney sunk those millions in and then split. The same thing happened with Mowgli’s Palace. Construction was complete. Visitors actually stayed at the resort. The surrounding communities were flooded with traffic and the usual annoyances associated with an influx of lost and irate tourists.”

And at least one Hostel sequel was filmed, while they were at it.

“Then it all just stopped. Disney shut it down and nobody knew what the Hell to think. But they were pretty happy about it. Disney’s loss was pretty hilarious and wonderful to a large group of folks who didn’t want this in the first place.”

More or less embarrassing then Song Of The South? YOU decide.

“I honestly didn’t give the place another thought since hearing it closed over a decade ago. I live maybe four hours from Emerald Isle, so really I only heard the rumblings and didn’t experience any of it first-hand.”

… Wait, Emerald Isle? So… Ireland?

“Then I read this article from someone who had explored the Treasure Island resort and posted a whole blog about all the crazy shit he found there. Stuff just… left behind. Things smashed, defaced, probably ruined by the disgruntled former employees who had lost their jobs.”

Oh, please, pictures from Treasure Island can’t be that alarming-

– Okay, that’s adorable.

“Hell, the locals from all around probably had a hand in wrecking that place. People there felt just as angry about Treasure Island as folks here did about Mowgli’s Palace.”

Don’t forget the role the adorable baby birds played- seriously, look at them.

“Plus there were rumors that Disney had released their aquarium “stock” into the local waters when they closed… including sharks.”

Ah, yes, the Disney/Sharktopus cross-over that everyone was… clamoring for?

“Who wouldn’t want to take a few swings at some merchandise after that?”

… Somebody with basic survival instincts?

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Internet Campfire Tales: Abandoned By Disney, A Creepypasta Review, Part Two”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Internet Campfire Tales: Abandoned By Disney, A Creepypasta Review, Part Three | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - May 19, 2015

    […] on Abandoned By Disney: There was a resort. It was abandoned. By Disney. Try to keep […]

  2. Internet Campfire Tales: Abandoned By Disney, A Creepypasta Review, Part Four | A VERY STRANGE PLACE - May 26, 2015

    […] on Abandoned By Disney: Disney, after a bout of racism, abandoned a resort to be swallowed up by the […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: