Omegle Is Definitely One Of The Things I Regret

20 Jun

My titles are literally just lyrics to a song I happen to be listening to, with the word “Omegle” thrown in. This is my life. This is what I have come to.

Ahem!

Is hypnosis real? I hypnotized my friend to strip naked at the school assembly tomorrow and sing “I’m a Little Teapot”. No chance or greatest day ever tomorrow?

It better be real, or that documentary on hypnosis, The She-Creature, was a complete lie.

why my ex bf wants to have sex with me?

Because your future boyfriend doesn’t have a time machine yet?

cum frappe

This is the kind of quality content I deliver, people.

if i call you dicktater will you tater tot my dick

What is even happening tonight.

What do you think my brother would do if I “accidentally” sent him nudes? I’m a girl.

This is the Mondayest Saturday ever.

Master looking for bitchs to pay me to fuck them 1m for one hour

YOU FUCKING PEOPLE.

Why are a white girl and an asian boy getting together?

It’s nice to know that everybody is fucked up today. Not just a few people. Like, everybody is goddamn insane. Gives me hope for humanity, you know?

Dildo improvisation for a sixteenF? Horny af

Hmm, that’s good, but I was really look for something in a “Makes Me Want To Kill Myself”. Do you have any of that in stock?

5 seconds of summer

Aaaah, there we go, now I want to slit my wrists. Thanks very much.

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