Internet Campfire Tales: My Ceiling Fan, A Creepypasta Review

5 Jul

I’m not sure I’m a fan of this Creepypasta. And there we go, my work here is done. I can just pick up my check now, right?

internet_campfire_tales

I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure what to think of this one. Exactly how much terror can you wring out of something called My Ceiling Fan? Well, let’s find out.

Ahem!

“My ceiling fan has become a bizarre, um, fixture.”

Yes, that might actually be worse than mine.

“It contains three lights. The lights on my fan haven’t been changed since I bought the fan.”

Then that’s a pretty fucking lame fan, now isn’t it?

“I bought the fan about four years ago. The bizarre part of my fan is that only two lights have burnt out within four years. One of them flickered on and off on October 20, 2010. I thought nothing of it.”

Which may be the first and only time a lack of reaction in a Creepypasta has been justified.

“The next day, the light burnt out. I went to school thinking nothing of it. When I entered school, I found out a friend of mine had died.”

‘He had no name. Just… just a friend. He was a placeholder, really. Like beige curtains.’

“After school, I returned home and thought of the fan. It must have been just a wiring thing, nothing unusual about it.”

Yes. Obviously. Why are we talking about this?

“A little more than a month later, on December 5, another light began to flutter and flicker. I started to think about October.”

Why? Why would you even remember that?

“I felt a turn in my stomach and the light went out. I reached for my phone and texted a friend. Before I sent the text, I received a text from my friend Chris.”

So- what, Chris gets a name? But everybody else- eh, fuck ’em. They’re not as good as CHRIS.

“He said that another friend of mine was murdered. I looked at the lights. The two that went out flickered for a second. I steadily watched as the two lights faded.”

If it turns out that Nosferatu is sitting in the corner, flicking it off and on, I am going to be pissed.

“There is still one light left on my fan that hasn’t gone out. I have an anxious feeling in my stomach about it because it is slowing losing its luminosity.”

Um. So- so, you’re dead? Are you dead? We’re going to assume you’re dead. Somebody get the ref to call it. So, that was My Ceiling Fan! How was it?

What was that descriptor I used up top? “Beige curtains”? Yes. Go with that one.

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