Welcome back to Freshly Riffed, and yes, this web series still exists! You didn’t think I’d actually forget you, did you?
…
Don’t answer that.
Forgetfulness would be my middle name, if it wasn’t already “danger”, “hormones”, and “Batman”.
According to the vaguest murmerings of people who actually remember what the fuck Freshly Riffed is, it’s when I make fun of the titles of Freshly Pressed blog posts! Yes, yes, I know, remembering hurts. Just lay back and take this memory enema and everything will be fine.
Each title will be linked to the original author, and remember; All mockery is for mockery’s sake only.
Ahem!
West Virginia Girl, All Bottled Up
The most specific fetish imaginable, or an off-brand version of Soylent Green? YOU MAKE THE CALL.
What’s It Like To Perform A Solo Show?
“A lot like your first time having sex, really: Awkward, stilted, and in the back of a Volksewagen Golf.”
“And filled with mocking laughter.”
Tear Gas: A Weekly Prescription
“Administer rectally.”
They administer tear gas rectally.
The Truth About Maternity Leave
It’s amazing, you learn exactly how much pressure to apply to a baby’s windpipe!
Growing Up Like Skipper: On Breasts And Body Image
Well, seeing as Skipper grew up by twisting her arm around until she sprang up an inch and sprouted some boobs, I have some serious questions about your physiology.
The Bog At The End Of The World
Take a left at the apocalypse, then it’s right across from Ragnarok.
Ingredients Of An All-Natural Banana
77% banana.
30% loathing.
3% fucked if we know.
Blogging Authentically: Do You Apologize For Real Life?
Dude, fuck real life.
A VERY STRANGE PLACE 
Explain your comment please. I don’t get it.
Neither do I. Just avert your eyes, plug your ears, and think of England.
And here I was, thinking I was the ONLY person that preferred West Virginia women straight outta the bottle. More fresh that way.